Elon Musk should announce he bought the Yankees and immediately dissolve the team on SNL

You know, it'd be very funny if [Elon Musk] just straight up announced that he bought the Yankees and then dissolve the Yankees immediately, or the Yankees are no more.

Tom Wilson is the NHL's apex predator because goons are extinct; the Rangers shouldn't even fight him if they know they can't win

The problem is the NHL not having, they basically got like the goon, the goon is extinct in the NHL... Therefore, Tom Wilson is the toughest guy in the world and he beat the entire New York Rangers roster. And I think, I actually think for the Rangers, like if you go into that game knowing you can't beat up Tom Wilson, don't even fight him.

The NHL's tiny fine for Tom Wilson was a genius move to keep people talking about hockey

I appreciate the NHL. Now giving us more of a, like, if you want to get real woke the NHL only giving them a $5,000 fine was the greatest thing they've ever done because it kept the story going and having people talk about the NHL before the playoffs for another week.

The Rams' Australia travel plan was an all-time 'fuck it' move

It was a terrible idea that Sean McVay tried to do, but I have to respect how much of an all-time fuck-it move it was to just pretend that time zones don't exist. He was just like, you know what, fuck it, we're not gonna adapt. We're gonna fly in, fly out.

KOC will get the best out of Kyler Murray

I think that what he's gonna get the absolute best outta Kyler Murray that he possibly can at this point, which I think should be good enough to be a pretty good team this year.

Jayden Daniels is going to remind everyone that the bad man is back

I think Jayden Daniels, he's as healthy as he has been since the start of last season. ... I think that he's gonna remind a lot of people who he is. Yeah. That's what I think. I think the bad man might be back.