Takes

I will cut off the tip of my pinky if the Raiders win the Super Bowl

The Raiders are officially my pinky team. I don't know if we're gonna clap. We clapping for that? I guess. So if the Raiders win the Super Bowl, I will cut off the tip of my pinky. I was through the half, I was like, the Cardinals are the greatest pinky team.

Rob Ryan has been robbed of an interim head coaching opportunity

The biggest shock in the world to me, looking down the history of interim head coaches, the fact that Rob Ryan has never gotten the title of interim head coach. Despite being the defensive coordinator for such stable franchises as the Raiders, the Browns, and the Cowboys, he has never gotten a shot at being an interim head coach. And that's because he's too much of a wild card to ever be an interim head coach.

Johnny Manziel is locker room cancer - he is injured

I just don't like the cut of this guy's jib, folks. He's locker room cancer. Not only is he injuring himself with his bad decisions, but he's injuring the entire rest of the team, infecting them with locker room leukemia. He is injured.

It's been a tough year for sub spokesmen - Jared and RG3

Looking back on the year, it's been a tough, tough year for sub spokesmen. You've got Jared and RG3.

Sammy Baugh led the league in interceptions while also being a punter and quarterback

A lot of people forget that Sammy Baugh was a punter and also a quarterback and also led the league in interceptions. You don't see that too much because players are pussies nowadays.