Takes

Luka Doncic is the best player of all time

Is Luka Doncic the best player of all time? Yes. I think so. I think he's going to be—he's really good. Of all time. He's crazy. 42 point triple double.

Triple-doubles are actually a sign of a bad team and poor role players

20 of the 23 NBA players who recorded a triple-double have been eliminated from the playoffs. [PFT]: So, turns out triple doubles are actually bad. Really bad... These guys are jacks of all trade, masters of none. You need role players on your team.

White cleats scientifically make you faster

Scientifically, white cleats do make you faster. That's actually just science. You just look a lot faster. You feel a lot faster. Look good, play good.

The Cubs will not win the World Series this year

Spoiler, the Cubs aren't going to win the World Series this year.

The more high fives a basketball team gives, the better they are

Earl the Pearl says that they're going to start tracking players' high fives... Naturally, the more high fives you give, the better you are.