PMT DB
PMT DB
Jay Glazer on NFL Secrets, Alien Probes, and Training Kyle Long
Week 5 is in the books and Tom Brady is officially back to ruining everyone's lives. While the Patriots are humming, the Cleveland Browns are currently participating in a real-life version of Final Destination for quarterbacks. Things have gotten so bleak in the Land that Big Cat is ready to bring back one of the most polarizing debates in sports history.
Big CatThe Alabama Crimson Tide could beat the Cleveland Browns
I think it's time to dust off the old could Alabama beat the Browns argument again. I love it. It's that time of year. I don't know. Alabama's looking good. They got an offense now.
Speaking of teams that might actually be cursed, Big Cat spent his weekend in Chicago watching the Cubs and has officially decided to stop being afraid of ghosts and goats. He’s all in on the North Siders, even if PFT is trying to play the role of the ultimate spoiler.
Big CatThe Cubs are going to win the World Series as long as nothing crazy happens
They're the best team at baseball. As long as nothing crazy happens, they're going to win the World Series.
PFT CommenterThe Cubs will not win the World Series this year
Spoiler, the Cubs aren't going to win the World Series this year.
Jay Glazer Joins the Show
Jay Glazer stopped by to talk about the inner workings of the NFL, and he didn't disappoint. If you think the HBO show *Ballers* is a dramatization of how wild the league is, Glazer says you’re actually seeing the PG version. He’s had coaches call him in total shock over the situations that cross their desks.
Jay GlazerReal life in the NFL is way more wild than the show 'Ballers'
Oh, no. Are you kidding me? Real life is way worse than that. In fact, half the stuff you know went down in the NFL. If I went to the producers of Ballers and said, hey, man, I got a great storyline for you. If this actually happened, they'd say, Glaze, are you out of your damn mind? Nobody would ever believe that.
Beyond breaking news, Glazer has become the go-to guy for NFL players looking to learn MMA during the offseason. He’s trained some of the scariest humans on the planet, but one name stands above the rest when it comes to pure, unadulterated violence.
Jay GlazerKyle Long is the strongest and most violent athlete I have ever trained
That is the strongest, most violent individual who's ever put his hands on me in my entire life. And that includes the Chuck Liddells and the Dan Andersons and the Randy Coutures. I mean, it's not even close, dude.
Glazer also gave us some incredible insight into the work ethic of The Rock and shared a story about seeing a UFO in Mississippi with Curt Menefee where he is fairly certain Curt was probed by aliens. We also got the truth about the Spygate tapes, which apparently contain as much 'creeper' footage as they do actual football signals.
Jay GlazerThe Spygate tape contains footage of the cameraman creeping on cheerleaders
The starter tape is great because the guy is focusing in on women in the stands. ... Total creeper. He's focusing on, like, women in the stands, and he's focusing it on the Jet cheerleaders. And he's a totally creeper. And then all of a sudden, boom, goes to Jets coaches.
Football Guy of the Week and Who's Back
Jim Harbaugh is a heavy favorite for Football Guy of the Week after dropping 78 points on Rutgers while only throwing the ball 16 times. He and Nick Saban are essentially the same person at this point—two men so deep in 'the process' that the concept of a scoreboard is merely a suggestion.
PFT CommenterJim Harbaugh and Nick Saban are the same person because they are so committed to the process they don't know the score
I think [Harbaugh] and Saban are the same dude... they are so committed to the process. I would be shocked if Nick Saban knew what the score was in the middle of the game.
In Who's Back, Oregon is back to being the Oregon we remember from the pre-Chip Kelly era, which is to say, they aren't very good. However, Big Cat thinks a reunion might be in the cards down the road.
PFT CommenterOregon is back to sucking like they did before they were good
The University of Oregon is back to sucking like they did before they got good.
Big CatOregon will be back on top of college football in four years when Chip Kelly returns
I'm going to call my shot. I'm going to say Oregon's going to win. If we can do like four years to call who's back, in four years Oregon's going to be back to being back. ... When they get Chip Kelly back, right?
New Segments: Yeah Right and Locker Room Talk
The guys debuted 'Locker Room Talk' this week to help explain what actually goes on behind closed doors in sports. While some politicians might have a different definition, Big Cat and PFT know exactly what the real experience is like for most guys.
Big CatTrue locker room talk is just men wondering why the old guy won't put on a towel
The real, if people want to know what real locker room talk is around America, locker room talk is basically just an inner monologue saying, why is that old guy not put a towel around his body? Like, why do I got to look at that old guy's dick?
They even tried to get Lenny Dykstra on the phone to participate in the segment, but Lenny apparently wasn't in the mood to talk about 'puss-puss' and hung up almost immediately. We also touched on Dwight Howard’s claim that he doesn't know who plays for the Golden State Warriors, which is a level of fake-cool that we simply can't abide.
PFT CommenterIt is impossible that Dwight Howard doesn't know the names of the players on the Golden State Warriors
This comes to us from Dwight Howard, who said that he couldn't name the players on the Golden State Warriors. [Big Cat/PFT]: Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Okay, Dwight... I had no idea. I don't even care about other teams. Yeah.
Always remember to wash your apples, unless you're Jay Glazer, in which case you might be overthinking the pesticides.
