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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NFL's ratings are down because players' backs aren't falling off enough

The NFL's ratings are down. Maybe it's because your players' backs aren't falling off enough.

This is a satirical commentary on media narratives and cannot be factually proven.

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Loss
Oct 10, 2016
#11100
Big CatBig Cat

The Alabama Crimson Tide could beat the Cleveland Browns

I think it's time to dust off the old could Alabama beat the Browns argument again. I love it. It's that time of year. I don't know. Alabama's looking good. They got an offense now.

The 2016 Browns went 1-15, but even the worst NFL team is virtually guaranteed to beat a college team due to depth and age.
Win
Oct 10, 2016
#11102
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Sam Bradford will eventually suck and prove me right for criticizing the trade

I'll be right in the long term on that one. Okay. How about that? ... But what I will say is that one day Sam Bradford's going to suck, and then I will be sure to let you know about it then.

Bradford's career was derailed by injuries and he never reached elite status, finishing with a mediocre win-loss record.
Loss
Oct 10, 2016
#11104
Big CatBig Cat

Tony Romo will break his back again within two weeks of returning

Tony Romo comes back. It's his job. He's going to break his back within a week or two again. Back Prescott. Yeah. That's what I call him. And then back to Dak. Back to Dak.

Romo never regained the starting job as Dak Prescott remained the starter; Romo retired at the end of the season without suffering another major on-field back injury that year.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Knicks will probably win the series in five games or even sweep the Cavs

I still think that the, the Knicks are probably gonna win in five. They could even pull off the sweep. I guess the only real question we have for you, 'cause we already, we declared that the New York Knicks have won the series after game one. Correct.

The series is currently ongoing with the Knicks leading 2-0.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NBA should rebrand the 'granny shot' as the 'pimp grip' to encourage players to use it

Nobody, no player in the NBA wants to shoot a free throw granny style. But if it's pimp grip, that sounds pretty fucking cool. Listen, if it goes in, it doesn't matter. Like if he and he would, he actually probably get some endorsements from it.

This is a comedic suggestion and not a verifiable fact claim.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I want the Thunder to win so we can love Victor Wembanyama longer before the inevitable hate cycle starts

I know who I want to win. I want the Thunder to win this series. And the reason why I want the thunder to win this series is because I think if the thunder win, we get to restart the clock on how much longer we get to love Weby before we hate 'em. If the Spurs win this series and then they win their first championship and Weby dominates, we're gonna eventually hate Weby.

The outcome of the series is pending, and the 'hate cycle' is a subjective sociological prediction.