The Alabama Crimson Tide could beat the Cleveland Browns

I think it's time to dust off the old could Alabama beat the Browns argument again. I love it. It's that time of year. I don't know. Alabama's looking good. They got an offense now.

Tony Romo will break his back again within two weeks of returning

Tony Romo comes back. It's his job. He's going to break his back within a week or two again. Back Prescott. Yeah. That's what I call him. And then back to Dak. Back to Dak.

The NFL's ratings are down because players' backs aren't falling off enough

The NFL's ratings are down. Maybe it's because your players' backs aren't falling off enough.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.