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Stingray Steve, Addison Russell, Dan Haren 10/07/16

Friday, October 7, 201631 takes

MLB Playoffs and NFL Football recap ( - ). Week 5 Gambling picks from the guys and Larry the Goldfish ( - ). The first ever Friday Roast of Pardon My Take ( - ). Addison Russell from the Cubs reads a MET-RX ad script ( - ). Stingray Steve gives his call of the week and updates us on Hurricane Matthew ( - ). Former MLB All Star Dan Haren talks about pitching in October, why Madison Bumgarner is so good, and the Cubs chances to win a World Series ( - ). Segments include Sabermetrics, Sorry Not Sorry, As A White Guy for Joe Buck, Thoughts and Prayers for Mike the Tiger, Done or Finished for the NFL, and Jimbo's of the week.

Addison Russell and Dan Haren on Cubs Playoff Hopes and Ghost Stories

We have reached the best time of the year: October baseball is in full swing and the NFL is starting to separate the contenders from the pretenders. Big Cat and PFT are gearing up for a massive weekend of sports, though Hank is a little more concerned with the fact that Terry Francona is currently coaching circles around the rest of the American League.

The Cubs' Quest for Glory

Big Cat is officially in playoff mode, which means he's oscillating between extreme confidence and crippling fear regarding the Cubs. To help calm the nerves, Addison Russell joined the show to discuss the vibes in the clubhouse. While Big Cat is still playing the "what if" game regarding last year's injury, Addison is keeping it simple and focused on the fun.

Loss
Oct 7, 2016·Picks
#16072
Big CatBig Cat

The Bears will cover +4.5 against the Colts because Indianapolis is jet-lagged after playing in London

I have the Bears. Plus four and a half... the Colts is not a bad choice... They're jet lagged. Yeah. Exactly. First team ever to go to London and not elect to have a bye week after.

The Colts beat the Bears 29-23, and the Bears did not cover the +4.5 spread.
Void
Oct 7, 2016
#20574
Addison RussellAddison Russell

We're confident in the guys we're going into battle with and if we do the same thing as the regular season, things might turn out pretty good

I don't see that at all happening. I know that we're confident in the abilities that we have. I know that we're confident in the guys that we're going into battle with, so I think we do the same thing that we do during the regular season, and things might turn out pretty good.

Russell deployed the phrase 'going into battle' to describe playing a children's game. Things did turn out pretty good.

Beyond the baseball talk, Addison gave us a glimpse into the team dynamics, noting that while Tom Ricketts is the owner, the real intimidation factor comes from the front office.

Void
Oct 7, 2016
#16074
Addison RussellAddison Russell

I want to play the Mets in the postseason for revenge

Definitely I would like to play the Mets... i didn't miss out on this series i would like to play them again. okay i i agree i'd like a little revenge as well

The Cubs played the Giants and then the Dodgers; they never faced the Mets in the 2016 postseason because the Mets lost the Wild Card game.

He also confirmed one of the most important truths in baseball: some of these road hotels are absolutely terrified of things that go bump in the night.

Void
Oct 7, 2016
#20579
Addison RussellAddison Russell

The Pfister Hotel in Milwaukee is haunted

The Pfister Hotel is haunted.

Russell stated this with more conviction than anything else in the interview, including baseball.

Dan Haren's October Wisdom

Former MLB All-Star Dan Haren returned to the program to give a pitcher's perspective on why Madison Bumgarner is a postseason monster. He's genuinely worried for the Cubs if they have to go back to San Francisco for a deciding game against Mad Bum. Dan also addressed the current state of the Cubs' rotation, specifically the erratic control of Jake Arrieta compared to the steady rise of Kyle Hendricks.

Win
Oct 7, 2016
#16079
Dan HarenDan Haren

Jake Arrieta is spraying his fastball around more than usual and is cause for worry

I'm a little worried about the way he's throwing the ball. It seems a little wild... he just seems kind of spraying his – it seems to me he sprays his fastball around a little more than usual... it's led to him getting into more like two and three, one counts.

Arrieta's BB/9 went from 1.9 in 2015 to 3.5 in 2016, supporting Haren's observation of lost control.
Win
Oct 7, 2016
#16080
Dan HarenDan Haren

Kyle Hendricks will do really well in the postseason

Kyle Hendricks obviously had an unbelievable season. The playoffs are a different beast... Should I be worried at all about that? No, he will do. He's going to do really well... he's added a little bit to his arsenal... He's going to be good.

Hendricks had a 1.42 ERA across 5 starts in the 2016 postseason, including a masterpiece in Game 6 of the NLCS.

Dan also managed to catch PFT in a classic journalist trap regarding a certain Dodgers ace. Despite their friendship, Dan didn't hesitate when asked who he'd want on the mound with the season on the line.

Void
Oct 7, 2016
#16078
Dan HarenDan Haren

In a one-game win-or-die scenario, Clayton Kershaw is the best choice

if you had one game to win and you could have your pick of, let's call it Scherzer, Arrieta, and Kershaw, who are you taking? Kershaw, no doubt. Yeah, but you're friends with him. Yeah, so.

This is a subjective player evaluation.

NFL Week 5 and the First Ever Roast

Before heading off to Chicago and Cleveland respectively, the guys locked in their gambling picks with the help of Larry the Goldfish. While Larry is currently on a legendary heater, PFT and Big Cat are trying to claw their way back to .500. Big Cat is breaking his own rule about betting on the Bears, citing a very specific travel disadvantage for Indianapolis.

Loss
Oct 7, 2016·Picks
#16071
Big CatBig Cat

The Redskins are trash

I got the Vikings. I have the Ravens. I think the Redskins are trash. Trash. Our words.

The Redskins beat the Ravens 16-10 and finished the season with a winning record (8-7-1).
Loss
Oct 7, 2016·Picks
#16069
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Browns will cover the spread against the Patriots in Week 5

So I did not take the Cardinals. So you're a Larry Fitzgerald this week? I am a big-time Larry Fitzgerald. I'm swimming with the Fitzgerald. But you didn't take the Cardinals. I didn't take the Cardinals. So instead of that, I'm going to take the Browns against the Patriots. I'm going to have them covering.

The Patriots beat the Browns 33-13, easily covering the 10.5-point spread.

We also debuted the Friday Roast of Pardon My Take, where Hank read 5-star iTunes reviews that were mostly just fans calling Big Cat fat and PFT a homeless woman who smells like pee. It’s important to stay grounded when you're the number one sports podcast in the world.

Segments and Stingray

Stingray Steve called in to give us a Category 4 update on Hurricane Matthew and deliver his legendary call of the week, which featured a classic "Bye-bye, semi-holes" parting shot at Florida State.

In Sabermetrics, PFT highlighted the Phoenix Suns' revolutionary new strategy. Forget points and rebounds; the real key to victory is team chemistry measured by physical contact.

Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

A basketball team's quality is directly correlated to how many high fives they give

Earl Watson, the head coach... Earl the Pearl says that they're going to start tracking players' high fives... Naturally, the more high fives you give, the better you are.

The 2016-17 Suns finished 24-58, one of the worst records in the league, despite the high-five tracking.

Finally, Joe Buck's recent revelations about hair transplants led to a very serious "As A White Guy" segment where Big Cat stood up for the rights of male announcers everywhere.

Void
Big CatBig Cat

The pressure for male TV announcers to have full heads of hair is messed up

Joe Buck has come out and said that he was addicted to hair plant surgery and almost lost his career... I think that's fucked up, the pressure that we put on our male announcers to look good for the camera. Always be looking good.

Subjective social commentary.

Hopefully, Big Cat catches that Sammy Sosa kiss from Addison in the bleachers this weekend.

mlb-playoffschicago-cubsnflgamblingweather

More Takes

Win
Oct 7, 2016
#16063
Big CatBig Cat

The Boston Red Sox are effectively dead in the playoffs

It is Friday, October 7th, and the Boston Red Sox are dead. They're not dead, but Buck Showalter had to be very confused watching Terry Francona manage that game because Andrew Miller and Cody Allen pitched 40 pitches each.

The Red Sox were swept 3-0 by the Indians, so they were indeed 'dead'.
Void
Oct 7, 2016
#16065
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Red Sox regret getting rid of Terry Francona

Hank, do you think that the Red Sox are regretting getting rid of Terry Francona? No. I'm going to be the first to say that they are. That's definitely a conversation that needs to happen in America starting now.

This is a subjective narrative claim about team regret.
Win
Oct 7, 2016
#16067
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Chip Kelly's current strategy is to suck for three years before getting fired with a massive payout

Chip Kelly, he's in phase one. He does the football producers everywhere he goes. Phase one is tank. Phase two is draft good players. Phase three is trade those good players away and then suck again. And then you get fired after three years and then you have a lot of money.

OpinionFootballHotSarcastic
Kelly was fired by the 49ers after just one season (2-14 record) in 2016.
Loss
Oct 7, 2016
#16068
Big CatBig Cat

Chip Kelly will be the head coach at Oregon within the next few years

Chip Kelly back to Oregon... yeah, because they're in some turmoil. Lost three games in a row. Silicon Valley to Nike Town... Chip Kelly to Oregon, going back to college. Listen, like Skip [Bayless] and Stephen A. [Smith], they need each other, right? That's when they were both at their most successful. So I think that's definitely going to happen.

Chip Kelly eventually returned to college football but at UCLA in 2018, not Oregon. He did not return to Oregon in this timeframe.
Win
Oct 7, 2016·Picks
#16070
HankHank

The Patriots covering against the Browns is the easiest bet of all time

Patriots. Yeah, we know you're going to take the Patriots. It's not even bias aside. All bias aside, you can take my bias, put it to the side of me. The Patriots is still the easiest bet of all time.

The Patriots won 33-13.
Loss
Oct 7, 2016·Picks
#29672
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Patriots are idiots for betting on themselves against the Browns

I knew that everybody in America was going to be taking the Patriots, so that's why I went with the Browns. I wanted to take the Patriots, so I'll give you that. It's not because you're a Pats fan. It's because you're an idiot that you're betting on the Patriots.

The Patriots beat the Browns 33-13, easily covering the spread.
Void
Oct 7, 2016
#20573
Addison RussellAddison Russell

This is the year the Cubs are having the most fun

This is the year that we're having the most fun. I guarantee you that. We're having a lot of fun, guys.

Russell's guarantee of fun was the most intense emotion he displayed in the entire interview.
Void
Oct 7, 2016
#16073
Big CatBig Cat

The Cubs would have won the 2015 NLCS if Addison Russell was healthy

People forget that you got injured before the NLCS last year... I think we probably win that series if you're healthy. Would you agree? I would like to agree. I would like to agree.

This is a hypothetical 'what if' scenario that cannot be proven.
Void
Oct 7, 2016
#16075
Addison RussellAddison Russell

Theo Epstein is more intimidating than Tom Ricketts

Who is more intimidating when they come walking around the clubhouse, Ricketts or Theo? I would say Theo. What about Jed? Jed has some intimidation factor, but he's just kind of like a little bit short.

Subjective opinion of a player.
Push
Oct 7, 2016
#20577
Addison RussellAddison Russell

Most likely Cub to ground into a double play besides Jason Heyward

I would say myself.

Russell grounded into 13 double plays in 2016. Heyward grounded into 17. Russell was at least aware of his tendencies.
Void
Oct 7, 2016
#20580
Addison RussellAddison Russell

I can't remember a single dirty joke Joe Maddon has told me

Can't remember that.

Russell either has no memory of a single Joe Maddon joke or was protecting Maddon's comedy material from being leaked on a podcast.
Void
Oct 7, 2016
#20576
Addison RussellAddison Russell

I'm the best dancer on the Cubs — Rizzo is a liar

Oh, if he told you that himself, he's a lion.

The strongest conviction Russell showed in the entire interview was about his dancing ability relative to Anthony Rizzo.
Void
Oct 7, 2016
#20578
Addison RussellAddison Russell

I believe in ghosts but I don't believe in curses

I believe in ghosts, too, but I don't believe in curses at all.

Russell drew a firm metaphysical line between ghosts (real) and curses (not real). The Cubs won the World Series three weeks later, confirming his position on curses.
Loss
Oct 7, 2016
#16076
Stingray SteveStingray Steve

Mississippi State must beat Auburn to have a chance at a bowl game

Mississippi State football because they're at home in Starkville and they have to beat Auburn to go to a bowl game I think... at 11 a.m. I'll be sitting in the stadium ringing the cowbell and hopefully helping Mississippi State beat Auburn.

Mississippi State lost to Auburn 38-14. They finished 5-7 but still went to the St. Petersburg Bowl.
Win
Oct 7, 2016
#16077
Dan HarenDan Haren

Cubs fans should be scared of Madison Bumgarner in the NLDS

Man, I don't know. I'm scared for the Cubs. I'm serious. The problem with playing the Giants for the Cubs' sake is you really need to win the first two games. Ideal situation would be not going back to San Francisco in a 1-1 series and having to face Bumgarner.

The Cubs won the first two games, lost Game 3 (started by Bumgarner), and won Game 4 to clinch the series.
Win
Oct 7, 2016
#16081
Dan HarenDan Haren

The Dodgers will beat the Nationals in the NLDS

Who do you have in the Dodgers National Series? I have the Dodgers. Even though Kershaw? What about Kershaw? He's fine.

The Dodgers won the series 3-2.
Void
Oct 7, 2016
#16082
Dan HarenDan Haren

The Rangers' stadium really sucks

That stadium in Texas really sucks. I don't like it. It's just, I just don't like, I don't know, I don't like the setup. Yeah, I mean, the fans always sing, I don't know, it wasn't the toughest place to pitch.

Subjective opinion on stadium quality.
Loss
Big CatBig Cat

Coach Ed Orgeron will have a full-pad scrimmage on Saturday instead of resting during the Hurricane Matthew postponement

I actually think he's going to have a practice. He's going to have a scrimmage, full pad scrimmage on Saturday. Doesn't stop until at least three starters are injured and out for the year.

PredictionCFBMediumSarcastic
LSU did practice, but there's no record of a 'full pad scrimmage until three starters were injured' on that Saturday.
Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NFL is done and finished due to tanking ratings

I think the NFL might be done. So their ratings are just tanking... why am I even tuning in if I'm not seeing a person dressed up like a superhero?

The NFL did not end and remains the most profitable sports league in America.
Loss
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NFL should bring back O.J. Simpson to fix their ratings

Just let O.J. Simpson back in the league. If you let O.J. play at running back for one game and just get destroyed... In the past year, what have we learned? We don't give a shit as Americans what it is. If it's about O.J. Simpson and it's on TV, we will watch it. So bring O.J. back. Yes, let him run. Bring the juice back.

The NFL did not bring back O.J. Simpson.

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