Takes

Duke is 'finished' because the blueprint to beat them is out.

Duke... finished. I'll tell you why. The blueprint is out on how to beat Duke, and it's twofold. One, make a 55-foot three-pointer at the end of the half... The other thing is piss your pants. Because the blueprint is to have a coach with a little leaky tinkly going down the front string. Jim Boeheim literally pissed on Coach K's name.

The New York media is already getting to Giancarlo Stanton

John Carlos Stanton, done or finished. Follow-up question, is the New York media getting to him? I love that Yankee fans are booing the fuck out of him. I love it. I love it, love it, love it.

Coach Orgeron will have a five to ten year reign of dominance at LSU

I think that this performance by LSU's draft picks, that's going to push Coach O's recruiting over the top. I'm going to predict a five to ten year reign of dominance for Coach O by [Leonard] Fournette and Jamal Adams.

The Marlins Man curse has officially moved to the city of Cleveland

The Marlins Man curse on the city of Cleveland just kicked in last night. He called his shot. He said, guess what? If the Indians lose, they are cursed. They're cursed because they were rude to me three years ago... and they don't have seats that you can see on television behind home plate.

The Sacramento Kings and Brooklyn Nets will both fail to win 50 games this season

Neither the Nets nor the Kings are going to win 50 games this year... by the power in Pardon My Take and all that are curses and witchcraft.

The NFL is done and finished due to tanking ratings

I think the NFL might be done. So their ratings are just tanking... why am I even tuning in if I'm not seeing a person dressed up like a superhero?

The NFL should bring back O.J. Simpson to fix their ratings

Just let O.J. Simpson back in the league. If you let O.J. play at running back for one game and just get destroyed... In the past year, what have we learned? We don't give a shit as Americans what it is. If it's about O.J. Simpson and it's on TV, we will watch it. So bring O.J. back. Yes, let him run. Bring the juice back.

Nyquist the horse is officially finished

I'm going to say that Nyquist is finished. That horse is done. He's so finished that he's done.

Kevin Durant will leave the OKC Thunder

I'm finished with him. I think that Durant's going to leave, and I hope that he does, and he's going to go to the Wizards or the Celtics or the Clippers or the Lakers or the Spurs or the Rockets.