The Arby's in Columbus is the worst fast food restaurant in America

Arby's is a questionable choice to begin with. This one particular Arby's was probably the worst fast food restaurant in America... We knew we had a problem when the guy in front of us was complaining about soggy, moldy bread that he got a week ago, and he wanted a free sandwich, and they were fighting him tooth and nail for a $5 free sandwich.

The Raptors are the Russian Army of the NBA; they defend their home well but get smoked once they travel abroad

The Raptors, they're only good in Canada. They're like the Russian army. They can defend their homeland really well. But the second you send them over like the Kush mountains into Afghanistan, they're getting smoked.

The Cavaliers will beat the Raptors and face the Thunder in the NBA Finals

So we got the Cavs are going to win. They're going to most likely face the Thunder. [PFT: Oh, you want to get in this?] No, let's do Tressel, then we're going to get to it. I'm just saying that was a bold statement you just made.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.