Takes

Wide receivers wearing single-digit jersey numbers is wrong

Julio Jones, he's wearing number two in Tennessee. I'm still not comfortable on a personal level with wide receivers wearing single digits. It's going to fuck my brain up... Number two is a bad kicker or a slow quarterback.

Von Miller is so fast that you have to make a 'business decision' to avoid him

Newton's first law is when Von Miller is diving at you, make a business decision. I actually fully buy in on the Al Davis, let's just get all the fastest guys... speed kills.

Jimmy Butler is a top ten player in the NBA

How many players play on a basketball team? Five. And how many teams play at the same time? Two. Okay, so that's what? Ten. Okay, so the NBA All-Star Game rosters came out. Jimmy Butler was named a starter... that would make him a top ten player.

Jacksonville cannot beat teams that are named after big cats

Jacksonville has lost seven straight games to teams that are named after big cats, just like the Jaguars. So it's one of those situations where Superman can beat anybody, but he can't beat Kryptonite because he's from Kryptonite.

Twitter is a perfect representation of what is going on in the world and decides major decisions

Twitter decides major, major important decisions. Twitter is a really good testament to what is going on in the world. Right. Great representation. Everything that everyone's exactly.

October 22nd is the most significant date in Chicago Cubs history

October 22nd, 2016, the Cubs clinched the NLCS. October 22nd, 2011, the Cubs hired Theo Epstein. October 22nd, 1970, the man behind the Billy Goat curse died. October 22nd is a big-time sabermetrics date in Cubs history now.