Former MLB Manager Bobby Valentine, Suns In 4 And Segments Are Back

The Suns fan from the 'Suns in 4' fight needs a championship ring

The bottom line is if they [the Suns] win, if they win the NBA finals this year, that guy needs a ring. He needs a ring for sure. And he needs to do the pregame ceremony.

Nikola Jokic's ejection in Game 4 was total bullshit

The Jokic ejection was bullshit. It was bullshit. Having that be an ejection was so, so stupid. I don't know if that changes the game... but yes, ejecting the reigning MVP, that's going to have an effect on it.

The Brooklyn Nets are still the best team in the NBA when at full strength

Obviously the Nets at full strength are probably the best team in the NBA and better than the Bucks. But at some point you do have to admit that Kyrie Irving, James Harden, those guys do get injured.

Game 5 against the Bucks is a legacy game for Kevin Durant

Is this a legacy game for Kevin Durant on Tuesday night? It's a must-win. If you want to jump to legacy... if he doesn't win this legacy game, there needs to be a new torch.

The Philadelphia 76ers are the best team in the NBA right now

The Sixers might just be the best team of these who are just kind of waiting or the best team in the NBA who were just waiting because they have sort of destroyed the Hawks the last two games.

The Colorado Avalanche were the greatest team to never win a Stanley Cup

The Avalanche were the greatest team to never win a Stanley Cup. Yep. I like that. I mean, lamed out... we were told the Avalanche were just going to shit-pump everybody.

I will move the Waterdogs if they go on a two-game losing streak

If we go on a two-game losing streak at any point, we're going to move the team. We're moving it... we'll fucking do anything. We'll stop paying the players if we have to make them play better.

Jeffrey Toobin should own his scandal and become 'the jack off guy'

He should have been like, 'Hey guys, listen, I'm a guy. I jerk off.' You know what? You should trust me more because I'm just a regular guy who jerks off and guess what? This is my pledge to you. I will not do it in front of any more cameras. Lean into it. You have to own it at this point. Just become the jack off guy.

Anthony Rizzo's home run made everyone forget about his vaccination status

Anthony Rizzo was under fire on Friday because he didn't get vaccinated. But then he had like one of those 16-pitch at-bats where he had a home run... pretty much all is forgiven. And nobody's going to bring up the vaccination stuff after an at-bat like that.

I invented the wrap sandwich in 1981

A couple of the really school reporters up there decided that they'd get their friends at the Wall Street Journal to do a national search to find out who had a wrap sandwich on the menu before 1981. And guess what? They couldn't find anyone. And they said I invented the wrap.

The Houston Astros weren't just banging on garbage cans—they were using NASA technology

If the Astros got this technology from NASA that was going to steal these signs and relay them to the dugout on internet wifi... believe me guys, they wouldn't be banging on a garbage drum and give the hitter signal. It had to be very high-tech guys.

I saw a UFO above Shea Stadium and another over the Colorado River

I saw a UFO once... I believe you. I saw one during a press conference. Yeah, and we stopped at Chase [Shea] Stadium. Everyone looked, everyone pointed. I said to the press, 'Did you see that?'... I think there's stuff up there.

Football is 'coming home' for England in the Euros

All I'm saying about the Euros, it's coming home. Yeah, it's coming home. Something just very special about pasty white English fans ripping off their shirts... Football's coming home. And then they're going to lose in tragic fashion.

If Novak Djokovic ties Federer and Nadal in Grand Slams, he is the GOAT

Once he equalizes with Federer and Nadal, I think at that point it's like, yeah, Djokovic is GOAT. And head-to-head he's dominated both of them, right?

Wide receivers wearing single-digit jersey numbers is wrong

Julio Jones, he's wearing number two in Tennessee. I'm still not comfortable on a personal level with wide receivers wearing single digits. It's going to fuck my brain up... Number two is a bad kicker or a slow quarterback.