PMT DB
PMT DB
Cordarrelle Patterson on Applebee’s, Running Back Dreams, and the NFL Conspiracy
Conference Championship weekend left us with two blowouts and a Super Bowl matchup that Big Cat and PFT Commenter are already dissecting with surgical precision. The Falcons took the Packers to the woodshed behind a performance from Julio Jones that made the Green Bay secondary look like they were playing in slow motion, while the Patriots did what they always do: methodically squeezed the life out of the Steelers like a boa constrictor.
Big Cat isn't waiting for the kickoff in Houston to make his mind up about how the big game is going to go.
Big CatThe Patriots will win Super Bowl 51 and cover the three-point spread
I'm taking the Patriots minus the three points in the big game. ... Patriots 36, [Falcons] 17.
With two weeks of hype ahead, the guys are already predicting the insufferable storylines the national media will beat into the ground. Expect plenty of talk about Matt Ryan's status among the greats and, of course, the inevitable debate about whether New England actually missed their star tight end.
Big CatThe Patriots are a better team without Rob Gronkowski
The Patriots being a better team without Gronk. Someone's going to write that.
PFT CommenterMatt Ryan is an elite quarterback
We're going to get Is Matt Ryan Elite. Ooh, yes. It's already started a little bit. We called it a couple weeks ago. That's going to be a huge one.
Cordarrelle Patterson Joins the Show
Minnesota Vikings wide receiver and All-Pro returner Cordarrelle Patterson stopped by the office to talk about his career and his legendary love for a certain casual dining chain. While most NFL players are on strict diets, Cordarrelle is a man of the people, admiting he hits up Applebee's roughly three times a week for some boneless wings.
Cordarrelle PattersonI love Applebee's way more than Chili's
I love Applebee's. Way more than Chili's. ... I'm just so stuck on Applebee's for some reason.
Beyond his culinary preferences, the conversation turned to his role on the field. After seeing Mike McCarthy use Ty Montgomery in the backfield, Big Cat and PFT Commenter wanted to know if the most explosive returner in the league would be down for a more permanent move to the backfield. Cordarrelle didn't hesitate to give the guys the headline they were looking for.
Cordarrelle PattersonI would love to play running back
I would love to play running back. Whoa, that's another headline grab. I think any receiver in my position would love to play running back. Because people always say he's just a running back when he gets the ball in his hand.
He also didn't hold back when discussing why it feels like some teams get all the calls. According to Cordarrelle, there's a reason the Packers always seem to be the league's darlings, and it might go all the way to the top.
Cordarrelle PattersonThe NFL is in cahoots with the Green Bay Packers and Dallas Cowboys
Because everybody loves Green Bay. Everybody wants to see Green Bay on top. ... Oh, so conspiracy. The league. The league has a conspiracy. ... Headline grab. ... Green Bay is in cahoots with the league. Yeah. They like the... Done. It was Dallas, you know.
Who's Back and Respecting the Biz
Who's Back of the Week featured a heavy dose of rich white guys dancing, specifically Arthur Blank and Robert Kraft. PFT also noted that with a casino guy in the White House, we might be on the verge of a golden age for the degenerate community.
PFT CommenterDonald Trump will legalize sports gambling to improve his approval ratings
I could see Trump legalizing sports gambling. I could, too. He's a casino guy... He could flip that approval rating up to, like, the 60s if he just said, okay, we're going to be sports gaming.
Big CatI am officially a Donald Trump guy if he legalizes sports gambling
I'm immediately a Trump guy if [Trump] does that [legalizes sports gambling].
In a very serious Respect the Biz segment, the guys took aim at Jordy Nelson. The Packers receiver played through broken ribs wearing a Kevlar vest, which PFT viewed as a blatant act of stolen valor since no one was actually shooting at him on the field.
PFT CommenterThe Packers are essentially ISIS for Jordy Nelson wearing a Kevlar vest
This is a respect to biz for Jordy Nelson to start respecting the military more. It's stolen valor for him to be wearing body armor without actually getting shot at during the game. ... Basically the Packers are ISIS.
To wrap things up, Big Cat used some flawless Sabermetrics to prove that Jimmy Butler is officially a top-ten player in the NBA based purely on the number of people on the court during the All-Star game.
Big CatJimmy Butler is a top ten player in the NBA
How many players play on a basketball team? Five. And how many teams play at the same time? Two. Okay, so that's what? Ten. Okay, so the NBA All-Star Game rosters came out. Jimmy Butler was named a starter... that would make him a top ten player.
If you ever find yourself at the Orlando airport, remember to take the 'stairway to heaven' escalator to the Chili's just to see what Cordarrelle is missing.
