Takes

Name your kid 'Coach' so they are respected by peers and have job security

Name your kid coach. Why not just give your son, our daughter, the name coach? That way they're respected by all their peers. If they're playing sports growing up, you're taught to respect your coach, and you also are immune to being fired unless you really, really, really suck at your job.

Sweating is just your skin having an orgasm

My first take is saying sweating is making your skin cum. So that was funny when I wrote it down at the time.

The show should add a new segment where I play the singer of AC/DC in between segments

My third [idea] is that we should do a new segment... where it's just the singer of AC/DC in between songs... how he acts on stage. Oh, so like every time we switch a segment i'll be like how many of you out there like a rock and roll music can i hear all you yell yeah yeah.

Trains should have a 'Game of Inches' flatbed car with wide open doors for people who are running late

We need to start having trains. The last car is the Game of Inches car. The doors are always wide open. And if you miss it by a second, you can jump. Anyone who ever gets a pass on the train has to sign a waiver. So if you go for the Game of Interest card and you die, that's on you.