Mike Pereira and Death 12/14/16

People who complain about how much 2016 sucked are officially on the hot seat

My hot seat was, I think I talked about this a month ago, but I want to officially throw it on the hot seat because we're getting close to the end of the year. People who complain about how much 2016 sucked. You only have two weeks left to be a whiny little bitch on Twitter talking about how 2016, worst year ever.

The 'Yates of Hell' nickname is the greatest for someone who can't back it up

Maybe the greatest nickname for someone who can't back it up because this is what happens with TJ Yates. You sell yourself on Yates of Hell, and you even bet on Yates of Hell, and then you remember that it's actually just TJ Yates and he sucks.

Hurdling over a center during a field goal is legal as long as there is no contact

So now you're getting these guys that are getting the running start and going over the top, and if they don't touch anybody, then it's legal. It's legal to hurdle. I just don't know what they could necessarily do other than to say that you can't jump over an opponent, and I just don't see them doing that.

If a dildo hit a receiver and caused a fumble, the down would likely be replayed

I mean, if the official feels like that something, you know, that's not connected with the game has an effect on the play, then he can order the play replayed. Much like they're talking about in the Raider Kansas City, they're saying that that long pass may have hit the NBC guide wires of the overhead camera. And if it does, there's actually a rule that covers that that says you just do it over again.

Yellow colored gloves and cleats should be illegal in the NFL

Should be illegal. I'm going illegal with that. Because we don't want to offend dumb people like yourself.

Harry Douglas's low hit on Chris Harris Jr. was not illegal or dirty

I say dirty from my standpoint is based upon whether it was illegal or not. And it's not illegal. I mean, he's in front. He's blocking low. It's a run up the middle. I don't think it's illegal at all, and I don't think the league does either.

Roger Goodell will change the overtime rules this offseason to eliminate all ties

Roger Goodell's going to change the overtime rules this offseason, so eliminating all ties, and then he's going to say that he saved the NFL yet again.

Jeff Fisher would have broken the all-time loss record if he hadn't been fired

[Speaking of the all-time loss record] Absolutely. He was [going to get it].

The ban on rookie hazing is killing masculinity in this country

Well, I see where Major League Baseball is coming from, but the fact that they're not letting guys dress up like girls is killing masculinity in this country. It's just sick.

LeBron James is the 'Disney' of the NBA and corny as fuck

He's the Disney of the world. He's the Disney of the NBA. He's the Disney of memes. He makes everything corny as fuck.

Lane Kiffin took the FAU job to prevent himself from 'cucking' other men

If he wants to go fuck any guy's wife, it's probably like a 100-year-old woman, so he's not going to do it. It's kind of like... self-limiting behavior. Lane Kiffin's not going to go to a place where he just wants to cuck every dude he sees. It's like if you're an alcoholic, go take a job in Utah.

Name your kid 'Coach' so they are respected by peers and have job security

Name your kid coach. Why not just give your son, our daughter, the name coach? That way they're respected by all their peers. If they're playing sports growing up, you're taught to respect your coach, and you also are immune to being fired unless you really, really, really suck at your job.

The subway should have a 'fart car' with a discounted monthly pass

There should be a discounted train pass for a fart car. But would you not pay like 50% less a month on your train pass if – but you can only ride in the fart car?

Jay Mariotti is just a troll looking for attention

It's called a troll that's looking for attention. And I absolutely played right into what he wanted.

Jeff Fisher couldn't even succeed at losing, which is the most losing thing of all

In my opinion, if you're going to do something, be the best at it. He couldn't even succeed at losing, which is really the most losing thing of all.