PMT DB
PMT DB
Marquette King on Dancing, Punting, and Mark Davis' Hair
College basketball returned this week and Big Cat and PFT Commenter were at Madison Square Garden to watch Kansas dismantle Duke. While the guys spent the first half cheering for travels and double dribbles to protect their under bet, they walked away genuinely impressed by the Jayhawks. Big Cat even noted that Bill Self has the perfect coach’s pot belly for resting a whiteboard or his arms during a timeout.
Big CatKansas is a complete team that has everything
I really like this Kansas team. And maybe it was because Duke seemed like a classic Duke team where they were a little soft down low. But I thought this Kansas team has everything.
Of course, the real joy of November basketball isn’t the high-level play. It is the anticipation of seeing Duke’s elite white guys eventually getting bounced in the tournament.
Big CatYou watch college basketball to see Duke players cry after tournament losses
If you are not a Duke fan, you watch college basketball for the moment that Luke Kennard and Grayson Allen cry during the tournament after they get stunned by a 10-seed. That's why you watch.
Romo’s Eulogy and Coach Fisher’s House of Cards
Tony Romo released a statement that felt more like a self-written funeral service than a depth chart update. While PFT and Big Cat debated if Romo was being "classy," they agreed that Jeff Fisher is playing a different game entirely. Fisher finally naming Jared Goff the starter is a classic survivor move: you can’t fire a coach when he’s just starting to develop a rookie quarterback. He is essentially the Frank Underwood of maintaining a .500 record.
Hot Seat Cool Throne
Hank kicked things off by putting Brad Stevens on the hot seat, which felt like a massive reach even for a guy who once thought you could put a silencer on a gun by using a pillow. Big Cat quickly pointed out that if Stevens ever became available, the entire state of Indiana would mobilize immediately.
Big CatIf Brad Stevens became available, Indiana would fire Tom Crean immediately
I don't think it would matter if Indiana was good or not. If Brad Stevens became available... You just fired Tom Crean. Yeah, Tom Crean is gone.
PFT looked toward Pittsburgh, where the vibes are decidedly not "Steelers Football" lately. Between the lack of a run game and a defense that James Harrison probably wants to physically assault, things are getting spicy in the Steel City.
PFT CommenterThe Steelers are on the Hot Seat because they are no longer playing 'Steelers football'
My hot seat is Steelers football. Pittsburgh is not playing Steelers football. They're not winning. They're not playing defense... they're not running the ball, they're 25th in the league in running. Pittsburgh needs to get back to running the ball and stopping the run.
Rounding out the segment, the guys took a shot at the NBA's lack of effort compared to the college kids. In their eyes, the sheer hustle of 19-year-olds diving for loose balls would be enough to overcome the talent gap of pros who are just walking through their sets.
Big CatA team of college basketball players could beat an NBA team because they try harder
NBA players don't try. They don't try like the college kids... I can't be the only one who thinks that a team of college players could put together a team and beat an NBA team. At least they would try harder.
The King is Here
Raiders punter Marquette King joined the show to continue Punt Week, and he might be the most electric special teams player in history. King broke down his viral Von Miller and "pony" dances from Sunday Night Football, explaining that he just feels the vibe and lets it rip. He also confirmed that Mark Davis’ hair is just as majestic in person as it is on TV, describing the Raiders owner as "swagged out."
King didn't shy away from the hard questions either, discussing his Madden ratings—he's offended by his strength score since he claims to bench 315—and his aspirations for a long career in the black and silver.
Marquette KingI want to play in the NFL for at least eight more years
I wanted to play in the league for at least eight years to the minimum. I mean, at least at least it's going to go at least far further.
We also got a glimpse into the Raiders locker room, including Sebastian Janikowski’s Polish lessons and his tendency to headbutt people in practice. King also detailed his struggle with late-night acid reflux after eating wings, which often leads to deep philosophical questioning of his own existence.
Segments and Drunk Ideas
The guys checked in with Lenny Dykstra, who naturally hung up after being asked about New Balance shoes becoming the unofficial footwear of neo-Nazis. PFT had a contrarian take on the stock market implications of the controversy.
PFT CommenterBuy New Balance stock now and sell it right before New Year's
I'm going to disagree with you. I think now's the time to buy stock in New Balance because, like we said, the people who are buying New Balance right now aren't going to know that it's racist for a while. So they're going to keep buying, okay? And meanwhile, the neo-Nazis probably weren't buying New Balance already. Now there's going to be a run on New Balance. So it's a short play. You buy New Balance, and then you dump it right before New Year's.
In a new segment called "Things I Thought Were Funny When I Was Drunk," PFT shared some of his notepad entries from the weekend. While some were misses, others had that classic PFT logic that makes you tilt your head and wonder if he's actually a genius.
PFT CommenterSweating is just your skin having an orgasm
My first take is saying sweating is making your skin cum. So that was funny when I wrote it down at the time.
Big Cat closed the show with a revolutionary transportation idea designed for the common man who is running thirty seconds late for his commute. It’s called the "Game of Inches" car, and it's basically a liability nightmare that solves the Wi-Fi-less wait on a train platform.
Big CatTrains should have a 'Game of Inches' flatbed car with wide open doors for people who are running late
We need to start having trains. The last car is the Game of Inches car. The doors are always wide open. And if you miss it by a second, you can jump. Anyone who ever gets a pass on the train has to sign a waiver. So if you go for the Game of Interest card and you die, that's on you.
If you value your life more than a 20-minute wait for the next local train, you probably aren't cut out for the Game of Inches lifestyle.
