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Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Buy New Balance stock now and sell it right before New Year's

I'm going to disagree with you. I think now's the time to buy stock in New Balance because, like we said, the people who are buying New Balance right now aren't going to know that it's racist for a while. So they're going to keep buying, okay? And meanwhile, the neo-Nazis probably weren't buying New Balance already. Now there's going to be a run on New Balance. So it's a short play. You buy New Balance, and then you dump it right before New Year's.

New Balance is a private company, so you cannot buy its stock. Even as a satirical take, the premise is factually impossible.

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Win
Nov 16, 2016
#8016
Big CatBig Cat

Kansas is a complete team that has everything

I really like this Kansas team. And maybe it was because Duke seemed like a classic Duke team where they were a little soft down low. But I thought this Kansas team has everything.

Kansas was a 1-seed in the 2017 tournament but lost in the Elite Eight. They were a very strong team that year.
Win
Nov 16, 2016
#8017
Big CatBig Cat

You watch college basketball to see Duke players cry after tournament losses

If you are not a Duke fan, you watch college basketball for the moment that Luke Kennard and Grayson Allen cry during the tournament after they get stunned by a 10-seed. That's why you watch.

Duke did indeed get upset in the 2017 tournament, losing in the second round to 7-seed South Carolina, which featured plenty of crying/upset Duke players.
Loss
HankHank

Brad Stevens is on the hot seat

My hot seat, Brad Stevens. He's 5-5. He's coming into the season, predicted to be number two. He's coaching for his job.

Stevens was never fired by the Celtics; he coached them until 2021 and then was promoted to President of Basketball Operations.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Knicks will probably win the series in five games or even sweep the Cavs

I still think that the, the Knicks are probably gonna win in five. They could even pull off the sweep. I guess the only real question we have for you, 'cause we already, we declared that the New York Knicks have won the series after game one. Correct.

The series is currently ongoing with the Knicks leading 2-0.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NBA should rebrand the 'granny shot' as the 'pimp grip' to encourage players to use it

Nobody, no player in the NBA wants to shoot a free throw granny style. But if it's pimp grip, that sounds pretty fucking cool. Listen, if it goes in, it doesn't matter. Like if he and he would, he actually probably get some endorsements from it.

This is a comedic suggestion and not a verifiable fact claim.
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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I want the Thunder to win so we can love Victor Wembanyama longer before the inevitable hate cycle starts

I know who I want to win. I want the Thunder to win this series. And the reason why I want the thunder to win this series is because I think if the thunder win, we get to restart the clock on how much longer we get to love Weby before we hate 'em. If the Spurs win this series and then they win their first championship and Weby dominates, we're gonna eventually hate Weby.

The outcome of the series is pending, and the 'hate cycle' is a subjective sociological prediction.