Jose Canseco

I will beat Billy Football easily in our Rough and Rowdy fight

He's going to beat you? Yes. Would you like to put a side bet on that? ... Five grand that I beat him easily. ... If he runs from me, I'm not going to chase him.

I'll fight all three of you tomorrow at the same time — MMA rules

How about if I fight all three of you tomorrow? At the same time. But we do MMA. How's that?

Everyone in their mid-30s should be on steroids/testosterone therapy

I think everyone should use it at our age, for sure. ... Recommended by doctors with a prescription. That's how you should be using it.

Alex Rodriguez is a piece of shit and a liar

A-Rod, you know what I'm talking about, you piece of shit. ... He's a scumbag. I don't like that. He was cheating on Jennifer Lopez. ... I was there when it happened.

I'm a six-four, 270-pound genetic freak — women want to breed with me just for the kids

She wanted to have, you know, my daughter's supermodel. So I breed super kids, obviously. I'm six foot four, 270 pound super athlete. So I'm a genetic freak. So I have, I've had plenty of women wanted to breed with me just for the kids.

Barry Bonds belongs in the Hall of Fame

Barry Bonds. Of course. ... there are probably 10 in the Hall of Fame right now that use PEDs. A couple I injected myself. I won't mention who they are.

I ran a 4.29 40-yard dash back in my prime

I ran a 4.29 40. That's 30 years ago.

I shot my own finger off because I was cleaning four guns at once

Cleaning four guns at once. Very quickly.

I have never benched over 225 pounds in my life

I've never benched over 225 pounds. [Maybe] 40 times, but... I don't know.

I'll take a dive tomorrow if you guarantee me A-Rod in the ring

If you guarantee me I can fight A-Rod here in Barstool, I will take a dive tomorrow. That's how bad I want that punk bitch.

Would have hit 760 home runs if he stayed healthy

Now, if you would have done my home runs per bat ratio over a 24-year-old period, I would have had 760 home runs if I would have stayed healthy.

Big Cat and PFT are just little intern peons — Hank is the real boss

Hank is the boss, people. Jake is the boss. These two are just a little intern peons. And I'm talking to these guys.

I know more about steroids than most doctors and endocrinologists

I know more about steroids than most doctors, most endocrinologists. Believe me when I tell you that.