Karl Malone

I already talked about the push-off — let's talk about a woman or the Keystone pipeline

No, I done said all of that already. Let's talk about something else. What are you going to talk about? A woman or the Keystone pipeline. What do y'all think about that?

What's the shades on inside for? I can't say what that makes me think

What's the shades on inside for? It make me think, you know what it make me think. I can't say what it make me think.

The US Postal Service should not deliver mail on Sundays; let the workers be with their families

why in the hell do the U.S. Postal Service deliver on Sunday anyway. Last time I checked, they broke as hell. So if anybody out there wants to know, I'm sending this to the U.S. Post Service. Please, our dear government, let the workers spend time with their family on Sunday... The U.S. Postal Service should not be delivered on Sunday anyway.

You guys are too uptight for me — you need to relax

You might need to relax a little bit. You guys are too uptight for me.

Weight training helped my shooting touch because it made the game easier

I got serious about weight training, probably my second year at Tech... You're looking around, and weight training wasn't huge then. You know, it's a myth out there about weight training. Don't lift, you're going to throw your shot out. What I would always do was lift before practice. So when you go out there and shoot, you get your touchback. And believe it or not, when you had me, when I added weight training, my shot and everything was easier for me because I was strong.

The NBA would have been forced to change the rules if Shaq or Charles Barkley had taken weight lifting seriously

Can you imagine if Charles Barkley and Shaquille O'Neal would have took weight training serious? With Shaquille, they would have changed the rules. He was already – you know, you're talking about country strong? Him. But Charles Barkley, for what he could do, can you imagine if he would have took weight training serious? I don't ever – I could be wrong. I don't think Charles left a weight in his life.

Comparing the physicality of the modern NBA to the 90s is absolute nonsense

Stop the nonsense. Don't compare what's happening now to back then. What are you talking about? ... analytics right now. That's all they talk about. Analytics. Sprinkle some analytics in there. But all this, hold on. You know, my hat not getting hot. I'm just I almost got a migraine just then thinking about players resting.

If an NBA player needs to rest for 'load management', they should do it at home, not on the road

let's make a rule right now... if you're going to rest, rest at home in front of your season ticket holder... The emphasis have to be or should be back on the fans and less of the athlete because we're going to do what we do.

I have an African gray parrot named Lisa and she was about to start talking during this interview

I have an African gray named Lisa. And if you're not careful with, she's going to say something. My son, KJ, just moved her over there because she's about to start talking.

Coach Sloan's pick-and-roll instruction: 'slap dicks'

As my Coach Sloan would say, get some fucking meat on the guy, would you? Slap dicks. That's what Coach Sloan used to say.

The Dream Team was so good we had to write down the names of the people whose asses we kicked so we didn't kick the same ass twice

we realized not being arrogant or cocky was we got 12 other baddest son of a bitch on the planet playing this game, but we happen to be teammates. We're here to kick ass, take names, and the asses that we kick, we wrote a name down so we didn't kick that same ass twice.

Competitive fire is like that old pimple on your ass that you can't get

You know that old pimple on your ass that you can't get but it's just right under the surface? That's our fuse bird. We're just right there.

Chris Webber, Derek Coleman, and Charles Barkley were all more talented than me, but I outworked them

I'm going to tell you three guys that have more talent than Karl Malone. Chris Webber, Derek Coleman, Charles Barkley. More talent. More talent. But they did not outwork me. I will never use the word he was better than me. More talented is different, right? I look and say, I can't do his position and he can't do mine... More talent? Yes. Worked harder? No.

You aren't a real wrestling fan because you didn't actually wrestle; I'm trained and I live my dreams

Don't try to say you're a wrestling fan. You didn't wrestle. I'm trained. I live my dreams... you're not a wrestling fan. I'm a wrestling fan. I wrestle. I live my dreams. Don't try to say you're a wrestling fan.

I'm a blue-blooded American — I don't have to do a documentary if I don't want to

Because I'm a blue-blooded American, and I say I don't want to do it, David, I don't have to do it.

Nobody is lining up to learn about Karl Malone — go watch Tiger King or some shit

I don't think there's nobody lining up out there wanting to know about Carl Malone, so why boring with that? Let's watch the Tiger King or some shit like that.