The Last Dance Finale, Karl Malone, And Mt Rushmore Of Grit Week Moments

The Chicago Bulls organization is on Michael Jordan's shit list, and that's why they've been doomed ever since

I think the reason why the Bulls have been doomed ever since is because the Bulls are actually on Michael Jordan's list now, too. If you watch that last moment when he has the iPad available, like finding out why Reinsdorf said they should break up the team. I think he is now, I think the Bulls are the top. It goes Bulls and then Isaiah Thomas on MJ's shit list. And anyone who ends up on MJ's shit list, as we learned through this 10-part documentary, is screwed forever.

Reggie Miller's 'throw away the game plan' quote is what losers say in Game 7s

I knew that there was a difference between Reggie Miller and Michael Jordan was in this documentary when Reggie Miller said, when you get to Game 7, you just throw away your game plan entirely because it's all about who wants it more in a Game 7. It's like that's exactly what somebody who loses a Game 7 says. Like, yeah, the whole like they wanted it more and you don't have a game plan. Michael Jordan wanted you to think that they didn't have a game plan. Michael Jordan absolutely had a game plan in that Game 7.

Game 6 of the 1998 NBA Finals will forever be the most-watched NBA game of all time

That game six of the 98 finals with the shot and MJ finishing his career with the Bulls, that will forever be the most watched NBA game of all time. 35.89 million people were watching that game concurrently... It's going to keep getting more and more fractured. That will be the most watched NBA game of all time.

The 1998 Bulls definitely would have won a 7th championship if they had stayed together

the ending obviously broke my heart because it's like they definitely would have won a seventh in my mind. That was the lockout year, so they would have had a lot of – they would have had a lot of rest. They wouldn't have had to start for a long time... If they had brought it back for another year, it would be tough to think that anyone would have beaten them.

Complaining is the most authentic part of sports fandom, and appreciation is for when they're gone

When sports come back. I'm going to revert right back to my sports fandom instantly. I will complain about everything instantly. That's what sports fans do. That's when you know it's back, when we can complain. So don't give me this like, hey, man, just appreciate that it's back. No, no, no, no. I'm going to complain. That's what sports fans do.

I'm wearing shorts exclusively until Labor Day and will not wear pants again this summer

I packed up all my shit this weekend. I put all my sweatpants on the highest shelf where I can't reach them... I'm done with pants for the summertime. I think from this point on, from now until Labor Day, I'm going shorts only.

You cannot eat soup while wearing shorts; it's a fundamental rule

It's either short season or it's soup season. I thought about ordering soup yesterday, and I was like, it's a little too hot out. I'm wearing shorts. There's no overlap there. You can't eat soup while wearing shorts. You just can't. It doesn't go together. You can eat a popsicle.

Queso is technically a soup because it's a liquid served in a bowl

I think queso's the soup... You use like chips, which are basically spoons. They're edible spoons. Yeah, it's bread. It's like the bread that comes with soup. I think queso's the soup.

The US Postal Service should not deliver mail on Sundays; let the workers be with their families

why in the hell do the U.S. Postal Service deliver on Sunday anyway. Last time I checked, they broke as hell. So if anybody out there wants to know, I'm sending this to the U.S. Post Service. Please, our dear government, let the workers spend time with their family on Sunday... The U.S. Postal Service should not be delivered on Sunday anyway.

Weight training helped my shooting touch because it made the game easier

I got serious about weight training, probably my second year at Tech... You're looking around, and weight training wasn't huge then. You know, it's a myth out there about weight training. Don't lift, you're going to throw your shot out. What I would always do was lift before practice. So when you go out there and shoot, you get your touchback. And believe it or not, when you had me, when I added weight training, my shot and everything was easier for me because I was strong.

The NBA would have been forced to change the rules if Shaq or Charles Barkley had taken weight lifting seriously

Can you imagine if Charles Barkley and Shaquille O'Neal would have took weight training serious? With Shaquille, they would have changed the rules. He was already – you know, you're talking about country strong? Him. But Charles Barkley, for what he could do, can you imagine if he would have took weight training serious? I don't ever – I could be wrong. I don't think Charles left a weight in his life.

Comparing the physicality of the modern NBA to the 90s is absolute nonsense

Stop the nonsense. Don't compare what's happening now to back then. What are you talking about? ... analytics right now. That's all they talk about. Analytics. Sprinkle some analytics in there. But all this, hold on. You know, my hat not getting hot. I'm just I almost got a migraine just then thinking about players resting.

If an NBA player needs to rest for 'load management', they should do it at home, not on the road

let's make a rule right now... if you're going to rest, rest at home in front of your season ticket holder... The emphasis have to be or should be back on the fans and less of the athlete because we're going to do what we do.

Chris Webber, Derek Coleman, and Charles Barkley were all more talented than me, but I outworked them

I'm going to tell you three guys that have more talent than Karl Malone. Chris Webber, Derek Coleman, Charles Barkley. More talent. More talent. But they did not outwork me. I will never use the word he was better than me. More talented is different, right? I look and say, I can't do his position and he can't do mine... More talent? Yes. Worked harder? No.

The water cup from beer pong is the world's most powerful disinfectant and can help stop the virus

the most powerful disinfectant thing known to man, the water cup in beer pong. So we've had the solution in front of us our whole lives... it's scientifically proven that if you fill a red solo cup up two-thirds of the way with room temperature water and then get everybody in the party to dip their fingers in it over the course of the night, no one's getting sick. If that ball hits the ground, you dip it in the water cup, you're good to go.

We should fix the ozone layer by spraying ozone from a giant aerosol can in space like Flex Seal

just put ozone in an aerosol can and spray it up into the sky. I'm pretty sure I solved that. And no one's done it. Like, why not? ... We'll put someone up in a fucking spaceship with a huge aerosol can, and they just spray it on, like Flex Seal for the ozone.

Josh Allen has a rocket arm but he doesn't have the 'rocket science' brain to grasp complex offenses

Let's take a guy with a super strong arm, very athletic, but might not, all the intangibles, but might not, you can't really measure what's in the brain as of yet. Josh Allen. Careful. Billy. He has a very high IQ. Careful, my friend. You can have a rocket arm, but you might have a rocket arm, but you might not have rocket science. If you want to fly a rocket, you have to be smart.

Swag Kelly would have three Super Bowls by now if he had a coach talking in his headset 24/7

Swag Kelly, essentially. Like, if you put Peyton Manning's brain into Swag Kelly's body. I mean, we should have Swag Kelly to have someone talking in his brain 24-7 because he would probably have three Super Bowls right now. Just be like... Don't go into the house, Swag Kelly. Don't go into the house. Don't go back to the bar with an AK-47. Just don't.