Pat McAfee

The NFL should allow all players to smoke marijuana

I enjoy marijuana a lot... I think it's made my life exponentially better... the NFL should let all their players smoke... because there's such a high percentage... there is actual medical relief for it. I think the NFL will get over it.

The internet is a 'hustler's paradise' for content creators

It's a hustler's paradise in the content world. And it really becomes like the forefront of your mind for everything. So it's like it never stops.

The term 'amateurism' is a made-up concept used by the NCAA to exploit athletes

Every single year, we would have the NCAA meeting... they would always use this word amateurism, the word that they created, and then they'd lock it down on it. Like... Well, you can't affect your amateurism status. Like, motherfucker, you made up that word.

The fear of failure is a necessary and healthy driver for success

People that say you're not supposed to be afraid of failure, I think, are so full of shit. ... That fear of failure is what's driving me to work to be good. ... It shouldn't shut you down, but it definitely should be there.

I will hit a home run (or at least reach the warning track) in my professional baseball debut

I plan on hitting a home run. ... I'll hit one at least at a warning track. ... I'll go $10,000 to a charity if I don't get one.

I do not miss football even one percent

Do you miss football at all? No, not even one percent. No. So I very much flipped the switch into not being in the football schedule right? I very much fell out of love with the schedule of being an NFL player.

Trent Richardson was not a good NFL player and only got drafted for his speed

Trent Richardson. Oh, that's two first-rounders. People don't know that. He's worth two first-rounders. Future Hall of Famer. Yeah, future Hall of Famer... He zigged every fucking time. Just a zag one time would have been nice for us.

Indianapolis is the true 'Barstool America' because it's stereotypical heartland

We Oxford Dictionary-ed what America is. Stereotypically American was the answer, and I said, well, I think that's more like everything I do in my life... I'm all about the heartland here. And even New York City, boy, has grown on me... but when I got here, I really thought I was in foreign land.

Buffalo Wild Wings is making a comeback with larger wings

Their wings got bad there for a little while. They're coming back, though. The wings are good. They got bigger wings.

Kerry Collins 'won' by coming out of retirement for $4 million and immediately retiring again after one hit.

Kerry Collins got paid, came out of retirement, got $4 million, got knocked out by J.J. Watt week one. 'My head hurts, my head hurts, my head hurts.' Retired again, didn't play... boy, he won.

Jay Feely is the absolute worst special teams analyst and I don't like him.

I don't like Jay Feely. I don't like Jay Feely... I hated him before he got on TV and sounded awful... [He] comes in and goes, 'tough kick here.' Okay, thanks, Jay. Way to go, Jay.

Andrew Luck apologizing to defenders is a mind game

He says, like, 'good hit.' I think it's a mind game. Keep him friendly. That's what I try to do... Try to keep on the good side. But Andrew's at that point where I need to do that. Andrew doesn't need to do that... Gotta be the only guy in the league that does it.

Chris Boswell's failed onside kick was an attempt to become a meme

They were doing it to become a meme instead of winning a football game. Bang. Maybe that's the thought. I don't know why you would do it. I don't know why else you would do it... I attempted it a couple of days in practice and thought I'd throw my ACL.

Indianapolis is the fast food mecca of the world.

Indianapolis is like a sample ground, basically, for fast food chains. We got everything. Whatever you possibly, we have it, except for In-N-Out. Indianapolis is like a sample ground, basically, for fast food chains.

Talent shows are ruined by forcing contestants to have sad backstories.

Every talent show you watch... they want to make you cry with every fucking contestant, right? I understand, but I'm watching this to be entertained. I don't want to fucking feel bad for somebody. So I wanted to make a talent show where there's no backstories. We don't give a shit.

Preseason Game 4 is a nightmare for punters because everyone is selling out to block a kick to make the team

Game four is what we like to call a nightmare... Because it's a lot easier to block a punt than it is to block for a punt. And the big selling point in all NFL camps is if you block a kick, you're going to make this team... You got guys selling out to block kicks.

I only got a college scholarship because I won $1,400 in an underground poker game

I went to this underground game in Pittsburgh. I borrowed 100 bucks from one of my friends... I had jack nine... I caught a full house... I end up having $1,400. My dad spots me the other $100. I go down to the camp. I kick a 65-yard field goal... Tony Gibson from West Virginia University is there. 'You want a scholarship to West Virginia?'... without that tournament happening, [I have] no chance.

Roger Goodell is basically a piss vampire

I just happen to have a cannon attached to my hip. Roger Goodell just can't fathom it. He needs my piss... my leg's gonna fall off soon... but I'm on no drugs so Roger Goodell is basically just a vampire sustained by piss and he just has to keep going back and drinking it from you.

Buffalo Wild Wings' wings are finally getting good again

Their wings got bad there for a little while. They're coming back, though. The wings are good. They got bigger wings.