Takes

Mike Matheny is a 'dumb-dumb brains' for his management and team culture issues

Thoughts and prayers to Mike Matheny. Dumb-dumb brains is what I have been calling him over the years. So he got fired mid- I think that probably had a lot to do with his firing. Dumb-dumb brains. Once you get labeled as dumb-dumb brains, you can't come back.

Yadier Molina's career-high home run pace at age 35 is suspicious

Yadier Molina, 35 years old, on pace for the most home runs in his career. Very interesting. And the seams have been raised, so it's actually harder to hit home runs. Very interesting.

Whoever wins the NL Wild Card will beat the Cubs

No one wants to win this wild card spot which means whoever wins is going to beat the Cubs... God damn it. I actually can't have that thought right now.

Baseball was officially neutered when Rich Hill was pulled from a perfect game

September 10th, 2016, the day baseball was officially neutered. RIP... He was pulled during a perfect game because he had 'heat on his finger,' which is a sign of blisters... the point of baseball is to pitch perfect games, not to keep people healthy.

The Cubs should sign Tim Tebow because he can 'defeat the sun' during day games

Tebow took flies in center looking into a hellacious sun. Did not bobble or miss one... Name me one baseball player that has defeated the sun. ... If Tebow's in the conversation, it makes our jobs a little bit easier. I wouldn't mind seeing him in a Cubs uniform. A lot of day games. ... We play a lot of day games, and we know that Tebow can beat the Sun.

Giancarlo Stanton's season-ending injury is definitive proof of the Home Run Derby curse

He had the home run derby curse... so we actually predicted this. Not to brag, but we called it. Like a month ago, we said whoever's going to win is going to be out for the rest of the season. So sometimes it's tough to keep track of how right we are all the time.

Giancarlo Stanton will suffer a massive slump after winning the Home Run Derby

Thoughts and prayers for Giancarlo Stanton's swing. He won the home run derby. So everyone knows here comes the slump. You can't win the home run... sorry, man. You're going to have a really bad second half.