PMT DB
PMT DB
Wayne Rooney on DC United, Messi vs. Ronaldo, and The Mt. Rushmore of Monuments
We are live from Washington, D.C., for the MLB All-Star Game, and the timing couldn't be better with the World Cup wrapping up. France are the world champions, and while the guys enjoyed the spectacle, PFT was quick to point out that this victory served a higher purpose than just a trophy.
PFT CommenterFrance winning the World Cup avenged the 'curse of Zidane'
They avenge the curse of Zidane. The curse that I just invented right now has been put away in the closet, never to be mentioned again.
Big Cat was mostly jealous of the timeline. In a world of fleeting regular-season titles, the World Cup offers the ultimate job security for your bragging rights.
They didn't let the tournament go without some classic hate, specifically for Harry Kane. Despite winning the Golden Boot, Big Cat wasn't ready to crown him a legend just yet, noting that his goal tally looked more like a collection of tap-ins and technicalities than a masterclass.
Mount Rushmore of Monuments and Statues
Being in the nation's capital, the guys had to tackle monuments and statues. Hank tried to get intellectual by picking the Great Sphinx of Giza, arguing that size is the only true measure of historical importance.
HankMassive monuments are the best because they prove you 'really ran shit' while alive
I think the best monuments are the big, giant ones. That's how you know you really ran shit when you were alive. You've got a statue that's three or four times the size of you.
Big Cat stayed true to his roots, taking the Michael Jordan statue in Chicago as the gold standard for sports icons.
Big CatThe Michael Jordan statue is the most iconic sports statue in the world
I'm going to MJ's statue, iconic statue. It's a logo that everyone, you know, it's basically the coolest logo in the world. That's the number one sports statue in the world in my mind.
However, the conversation took a turn when the St. Louis Gateway Arch was brought up. Big Cat and PFT were in rare lockstep about how much they despise that giant piece of metal, with PFT questioning why anyone even needs a signpost for the middle of the country.
Big CatThe St. Louis Gateway Arch is the worst monument in the world
I have my nominee for the worst. The Arch in St. Louis. Yes, that one sucks. Like, hey, let's just put like a big piece of metal on your front lawn. It looks like a leftover part from the air conditioner.
PFT CommenterThe Midwest does not need a 'gateway' monument
It's called, what, the Gateway to the Midwest? Does the Midwest really need a gateway? No. Nobody's out there, like, wondering, am I in the Midwest yet? If you're being served a pizza that has ketchup instead of tomato sauce, you know you're in the Midwest.
Wayne Rooney Joins the Show
In a massive get for the program, soccer legend Wayne Rooney joined the show after his debut for DC United. Big Cat and PFT put him through the paces, including a very official citizenship test that involved asking him about Thanksgiving dates and gun ownership. Rooney was a great sport, even when the guys tried to get him to settle the ultimate soccer debate between his former teammate and his greatest rival.
Wayne RooneyLionel Messi is the greatest soccer player of all time, better than Cristiano Ronaldo
Ronaldo versus Messi. Who's better? [Rooney:] Messi. Yeah, I think I've said it before, but they're both probably the best players ever to play the game. And I just think Messi is... In my eyes, the greatest ever.
Rooney talked about his transition to the MLS and his philosophy on the pitch. While American sports often prioritize flashy plays and constant movement, the legend explained that the highest level of soccer is actually about restraint.
Wayne RooneyThe hardest thing to do in football is to keep it simple
The hardest thing in football to do is to keep it simple, play simple and it possibly is one of the most effective things. So I actually kept it very simple today and created chances for my teammates.
Despite the different pace of life in the U.S., Rooney's passion for the game hasn't dimmed. He made it clear that while he’s enjoying his relative anonymity walking around the National Mall, he’s here to prove why his sport rules the globe.
Wayne RooneySoccer is the greatest sport ever created
What's something that the casual fan doesn't understand about the sport? [Rooney:] For me, it's the greatest sport ever created.
Who’s Back and Take Quake
Who's Back featured the return of the Giant Panda to the non-endangered list and the reinstatement of Hulk Hogan to the WWE Hall of Fame. PFT had a very specific theory on why the Hulkster was allowed back into the fold right as Papa John was exiting.
PFT CommenterHulk Hogan's reinstatement to the Hall of Fame represents a 'one-in, one-out' policy for racism
But now that Papa John got in trouble for saying the N-word... In America, we have like a one-in, one-out policy for racism. So Papa John's racist now, and because he's in the club, Hulk Hogan is now out of the racism club.
Big Cat also mourned the state of boxing after seeing Manny Pacquiao fight on an app instead of a major pay-per-view, noting that watching legends hang on too long is a special kind of pain.
Big CatManny Pacquiao's late-career fights are depressing and sad to watch
He's still fighting. So that's pretty sad. I didn't realize that he was fighting until like a day before. An aging boxer, watching them is one of the saddest things you can do. You know when it's done, and everyone knows, and then they always hang on for a couple extra years, and you're like, let's just try to remember the good times, because this is depressing the fuck out of all of us.
We wrapped up with a heavy-duty Take Quake regarding Serena Williams and a heartfelt thoughts and prayers for Boltman, the legendary Chargers superfan who is finally hanging up the lightning bolt. For Big Cat, this wasn't just a mascot retiring; it was the final nail in the coffin for a franchise's soul.
Big CatBoltman's retirement is the 'official' end of the Chargers in San Diego
And it's like this is the official move of the Chargers to L.A. When Boltman retires and he's like, I'm done. I've been pushed too far. Boltman, these diehard fans that the organization just pushes them a little too far, and they have to announce their retirement.
Make sure to tweet at Marlins Man to tell him he needs to bring the guys out to the outfield for the Home Run Derby.
