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L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

Is That Mario Andretti? No, That's Jim Irsay

Is that Mario Andretti? Nah, that's Jim Irsay.

OpinionFootballScorchingSarcastic
Jim Irsay was arrested for OWI in March 2014 in a suburb of Indianapolis. He was going notably slower than Andretti's typical pace.
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L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

PFT Commenter Owns 'No Pressure No Diamonds' Now

No pressure no diamonds, slow it down. PFT owns your slogan now.

PFT Commenter actually trademarked 'No Pressure No Diamonds.' This cease and desist rap had legal standing.
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L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

RG3 Folds And Splatters Under Pressure

And to be honest you more like the latter. When the pressure is on you fold and splatter.

RG3 went 13-21 as a starter after his rookie year and was out of the NFL by 2017. Folded and splattered is a fair summary.
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L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

PFT Has Two Good Knees And RG3 Has None

He got two good knees and a microphone. You got no more cheese and your fight is gone.

RG3 suffered devastating knee injuries in both the 2012 playoffs and 2013 preseason. PFT's knees remain unconfirmed but presumed healthy.
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L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

RG3 Disappointed The Dog Pound Just Like He Did Atlanta

Don't disappoint the Dog Pound like in Atlanta man.

RG3 went 1-4 as a starter in Cleveland in 2016 and was benched. He did indeed disappoint the Dog Pound.
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L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

RG3 Went From Deadspin Redskin To Downtown Browns Clown

You was a Deadspin Redskin full of the drama. Now you a downtown Browns clown in love with Osama.

RG3's career arc from Washington media circus to Cleveland punchline is accurately summarized here. The Deadspin reference captures the constant negative coverage.
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L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

RG3 Did Subway Commercials — You Know Who Else Did?

RG Knee, so controversial. You know who else did Subway commercials?

RG3 did appear in Subway ads. Jared Fogle was sentenced to 15+ years in prison in 2015. The implication is devastating.
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L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

Danny Woodhead Has Never Done Drugs And Has Never Been To Jail

Never smokes drugs, never been to jail.

There is no public record of Woodhead being arrested or having substance abuse issues. Setting an extremely low bar as if it's impressive is peak PMT.
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L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

Woodhead Didn't Go To Harvard But He's A Student Of The Game

Didn't go to Harvard, but a student of the game.

Woodhead attended Chadron State in Nebraska, which is indeed not Harvard. He was known as a high-IQ player.

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