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Vince Wilfork

Friday, June 2, 201728 takes

NBA Finals Game 1 recap, are the Cavaliers dead? Is Kevin Durant the new GOAT? Is Mike Brown the luckiest man on earth? ( - ) In honor of the Scripps Spelling Bee, the first annual Pardon My Take TELLING Bee with Hank ( - )). PR 101 with Mr Met ( - ). Houston Texans Nose Tackle Vince Wilfork joins the show to talk ribs, football, and whether or not he's retired ( - ). A special segment with TeaBoy Tex talking about the Eric LeGrand fundraiser on Sunday in New Jersey. Segments include Sabermetrics with Hugh Freeze, Mayweather vs Mcgregor update, Explain it to Hank Nasa firing a rocket into the Sun, Bad Visual for the Jacksonville Jaguars, Shoe Roast for the new Curry 4's, Panic Button for the Cubs, and Jimbos of the week.

L. Ron Mexico (12)Big Cat (6)Vince Wilfork (5)PFT Commenter (4)Hank (1)

Vince Wilfork on Ribs, Retirement, and the NBA Finals Torch

Game 1 of the NBA Finals is in the books, and the vibes are decidedly shifted. While the Cavaliers looked like they were playing transition defense in slow motion, Kevin Durant was busy ascending to a different plane of existence. Big Cat isn't waiting for the series to end to make a definitive call on who owns the hardwood now.

Win
Jun 2, 2017
#16920
Big CatBig Cat

The NBA is now Kevin Durant's league and the torch has been passed from LeBron James

Are you ready for my hot, hot, hot take from Game 1 of the NBA Finals? Hit me. The torch has been passed. It is Kevin Durant's league. Whose man's is the NBA? I said that, yeah. It's Kevin Durant's man's. Passed that off. He said, here you go, KD. It is your league now. Your league.

Hot TakeBasketballHot
KD won Finals MVP and the title in 2017, reinforcing the idea that he had reached the summit, though LeBron remained a top player for years.

PFT pointed out that the series hasn't truly started until someone wins on the road, but the defensive gaps are glaring. Without a certain gritty Australian guard to harass the Warriors' shooters, Cleveland looks like they're just hoping the hoop shrinks.

Loss
Jun 2, 2017
#16921
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Matthew Dellavedova is the missing piece the Cavaliers need to stop the Warriors

I mean, clearly, Della Vadova's [Matthew Dellavedova] the missing piece. They need a defensive stopper on the team that can check somebody, and they don't have it.

OpinionBasketballMediumSarcastic
The Cavs lost the series 4-1; Delly wouldn't have fixed the talent gap with KD added to a 73-win team.

Despite the Game 1 blowout, Big Cat is leaning into the chaos and doubling down on his belief in LeBron's squad, even if the math doesn't quite add up.

Loss
Jun 2, 2017
#16922
Big CatBig Cat

The Cavaliers will win the 2017 NBA Finals in five games

I still think Cavs... Well, you know what? Cavs in five now. How about that? This is one of those things I'm not even trying to go over the top here. I don't know how you can defend the Warriors.

PredictionBasketballScorching
The Warriors won the series 4-1. Big Cat's prediction was hilariously backwards.

The Rib King Speaks

Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork joined the show to discuss his petition with Kingsford to make ribs the official food of America. The conversation naturally turned to his future on the field, where he remains the master of his own destiny.

Win
Jun 2, 2017
#16925
Vince WilforkVince Wilfork

I am not officially retired from the NFL yet

No, what I'm doing right now is I'm taking time and figuring out what I want to do. Because I want to be 100% sure of the decision that I make. And I'm in no rush to do that. I'm not retired. And I'm not retired right now, and I'm not saying I'm going to retire. It's just one of those things where everything is still up in the air.

Fact ClaimFootballMild
Wilfork officially announced his retirement in August 2017 with a barbecue commercial.

Wilfork shared some legendary stories from his time in New England, including his ability to outpace a certain GOAT quarterback in a footrace.

Win
Jun 2, 2017
#16926
Vince WilforkVince Wilfork

I am faster than Tom Brady

[Big Cat]: Who's faster, you or Tom Brady? [Wilfork]: Me. [Big Cat]: Is it even close? [Wilfork]: No. That's easy.

OpinionFootballMedium
By 40-yard dash times, Wilfork (5.08) is objectively faster than Brady (5.28).

He also gave massive flowers to Mike Vrabel, calling him the smartest player he's ever shared a huddle with, and offered a rare glimpse into the human side of Bill Belichick.

Void
Jun 2, 2017
#16927
Vince WilforkVince Wilfork

Bill Belichick is the greatest coach of all time because he can relate to his players

It's a reason that he's one of the great – he is the greatest coach of all time because he can relate to his players.

OpinionFootballMildSubjective
This is a subjective opinion held by many, though Belichick's record supports the GOAT claim.

NASA, Aliens, and the Curry 4

During a standard 'Explain it to Hank' segment, the guys looked into NASA's plan to fire a rocket into the sun. Big Cat and Hank aren't buying the official story about solar research, suspecting a much more galactic cover-up.

Loss
Jun 2, 2017·Explain It to Hank
#27670
HankHank

NASA is lying about the sun probe to hide its real mission of searching for aliens

Stay woke, stay woke. They're saying it's the sun so they can be like, actually, the sun was too hot, it burnt, so no one's going to think about where that probe is. It's really in deep space going for the aliens.

Hot TakeLifeHot
The Parker Solar Probe's mission was indeed to study the sun's corona, and it has successfully done so without any confirmed alien contact.

In the world of footwear, Under Armour dropped the Curry 4s during the Finals. It was a strategic move that PFT thinks was designed specifically to avoid the immediate Twitter execution that usually follows a stationary shoe photo release.

Win
Jun 2, 2017·Roast
#27669
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Under Armour used Game 1 of the NBA Finals as a 'soft launch' for the Curry 4s to avoid a social media roasting

I also like the idea of using a game as a soft launch for something. So it's not like Under Armour tweeted out a picture and said, 'Hey, everybody, what do you think of the new shoes?' It's more of something that people got to discover for themselves.

OpinionBasketballMild
The shoes were indeed debuted in-game, and this strategy is commonly used now by brands to generate organic hype.

Jimbos of the Week

The episode wrapped up with a special promotion for PMT T-boy Tex, who is now officially a T-Guy after raising money for the Eric LeGrand foundation. However, the biggest Jimbo of the week belonged to Big Cat, who had his world rocked by the discovery of his jacked Instagram dopplegänger.

Void
Jun 2, 2017·Jimbos
#27673
Big CatBig Cat

I have a twin who is an jacked Instagram model, and my life is a failure by comparison

Ken Jack, who helps out with this show, revealed my twin who is incredibly jacked and a muscle freak and an Instagram model. So Jimbo to me for spending the last five years getting increasingly fatter and making it super depressing when I see this guy who is awesome looking... owned my life.

OpinionLifeMediumSubjective
The existence of the 'Buffcat' lookalike is a fact, and Big Cat's self-deprecation is a recurring theme of the era.

It’s a tough day when you realize your genetic potential is being maximized by a guy who takes better selfies than you do.

nflnba-finalskevin-durantvince-wilforknasaspelling-bee

More Takes

Void
Jun 2, 2017
#16923
Big CatBig Cat

The Kardashian curse is responsible for Tristan Thompson's poor performance

By the way, speaking of rebounding, Tristan Thompson, four rebounds tonight. Did you also hear that Khloe Kardashian's going around saying she's pregnant with his baby? So the Kardashian curse remains undefeated.

Fact ClaimBasketballMediumSubjective
Thompson did have a historically poor Finals for a rebounder, though the 'curse' is subjective superstition.
Loss
Jun 2, 2017
#16924
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Every player on the Pittsburgh Penguins is using steroids

The Penguins did their – I think everybody on the Penguins is using steroids. I'm going to put it out there. You know what? I think that's the only explanation. They're really good in game sevens when the other team is always super tired. I'm putting it out there. Cheaters, all of them.

Hot TakeHockeyFireSarcastic
There is no evidence of a team-wide steroid program for the Penguins.
Void
Jun 2, 2017
#27672
Vince WilforkVince Wilfork

Mike Vrabel is the smartest defensive player I ever played with

Vrabel's been, I mean, hands down the smartest defensive player I've ever played with. So I've always learned stuff from him, and he's very good at teaching.

OpinionFootballMediumSubjective
This is Wilfork's personal professional opinion, but Vrabel's success as a head coach later on supports the idea of his high football IQ.
Void
Jun 2, 2017
#16928
Vince WilforkVince Wilfork

Ed Reed was the most talented player on the 2001 Miami Hurricanes

[Big Cat]: 2001 Miami Hurricanes... Can you tell us who the best player on that team was being up close and personal with them? [Wilfork]: Probably Ed Reed.

OpinionCFBMildSubjective
Ed Reed is a Hall of Famer and universally considered one of the best players on that historic squad.
Loss
Jun 2, 2017·Explain It to Hank
#16929
Big CatBig Cat

NASA is firing a rocket into the sun to distract the public from the search for aliens

NASA's come out. They're shooting a rocket into the sun. I don't really understand what's going on... NASA's trying to keep us off the aliens. That's pretty clear because if you're sitting in NASA... Find the aliens or fire a Roman candle into the sun, which we know already is really hot.

Hot TakeLifeHotSarcastic
The probe was for scientific solar research, and there is no evidence it was a cover-up for alien discovery.
Void
Jun 2, 2017·Mayweather Mcgregor Update
#27671
Big CatBig Cat

The Mayweather vs. McGregor fight is all risk and no reward for the sport of boxing

If they have a boxing fight, it's basically all risk, no reward for the sport of boxing. Because if McGregor wins, then it's like, okay, MMA fighters are not only better, MMA fighters are better boxers. They could cuck themselves. And if Floyd Mayweather wins, it's like, well, no shit he wins. Boxing's really hard.

OpinionBoxing/MMAMediumSubjective
The take is subjective, but the fight was massive for both sports financially, though it didn't fundamentally change the perception of boxing's difficulty.
Push
Jun 2, 2017·Bad Visual
#16930
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Jacksonville Jaguars are the funniest long con in professional sports history

The Jacksonville Jaguars might be the funniest thing to ever occur in professional sports. This has been a long con. We've all been owned... It's like a Wes Anderson movie. It's like you don't really appreciate a Wes Anderson movie. That's what the Jaguars are saying to everyone. You don't look at it the right way.

Hot TakeFootballScorchingSarcastic
The Jaguars actually went to the AFC Championship game later that year (2017), briefly ending their status as a joke.
Void
Jun 2, 2017·Lronmexico Rap
#29800
L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

Jim Harbaugh Will Smack Your Jaw

This that Jim Harbaugh that'll smack your jaw.

OpinionFootballMediumSubjective
Harbaugh's intensity is well-documented. Whether he would literally smack your jaw is speculative but not implausible.
Void
Jun 2, 2017·Lronmexico Rap
#29801
L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

Unsubscribe Then Subscribe — That's The Motto

Unsubscribe, then subscribe, baby, that's the motto.

OpinionMediaMildSubjective
A foundational PMT philosophy. The logic is airtight: you can't subscribe unless you first unsubscribe.
Void
Jun 2, 2017·Lronmexico Rap
#29802
L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

We Like Our Apples Unwashed And Bought On The Side Of The Road

We like our apples like we like our clothes: unwashed and bought on the side of the road.

OpinionLifeHotSubjective
A lifestyle manifesto. The FDA recommends washing produce, but grit doesn't care about the FDA.
Void
Jun 2, 2017·Lronmexico Rap
#29810
L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

Pull Up At The Cincinnati Zoo And Pay Our Respects

Pull up at the zoo, pay our respects.

OpinionPop CultureHotSubjective
Harambe was killed at the Cincinnati Zoo on May 28, 2016. This rap was recorded in June 2017. The pilgrimage is an appropriate act of grit mourning.
Void
Jun 2, 2017·Lronmexico Rap
#29803
L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

Skyline Chili Is Thicker Than Chris Sabo's Rec Specs

Skyline thicker than Chris Sabo's rec specs.

OpinionFoodMediumSubjective
Sabo's rec specs were legendarily thick. Skyline chili consistency varies by location. A viscosity comparison for the ages.
Win
Jun 2, 2017·Lronmexico Rap
#29804
L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

Is That Mario Andretti? No, That's Jim Irsay

Is that Mario Andretti? Nah, that's Jim Irsay.

OpinionFootballScorchingSarcastic
Jim Irsay was arrested for OWI in March 2014 in a suburb of Indianapolis. He was going notably slower than Andretti's typical pace.
Win
Jun 2, 2017·Lronmexico Rap
#29805
L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

Barstool Sports Gets Billed For Travel

Barstool Sports gets billed for travel.

Fact ClaimMediaMedium
PMT's Grit Week was a company-funded road trip. Brazenly admitting expense fraud in a rap is an elite move.
Void
Jun 2, 2017·Lronmexico Rap
#29811
L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

Piss In Your Pants Just To Make A Statement

Piss in your pants just to make a statement.

Hot TakeLifeScorchingSubjective
There is no medical or social context in which urinating in your own pants constitutes a statement. Unless you're defining grit, in which case it's the only statement.
Void
Jun 2, 2017·Lronmexico Rap
#29806
L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

Grit Is Undrafted Slow-Twitch Muscle Fibers

This is undrafted slow twitch muscle fibers.

OpinionFootballMediumSubjective
A biological definition of grit. Slow-twitch fibers are associated with endurance, not explosiveness — the perfect metaphor for a lunch-pail guy.
Win
Jun 2, 2017·Lronmexico Rap
#29807
L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

Matthew Dellavedova Taking A Charge Is Peak Grit

It's Dellavedova taking a charge.

OpinionBasketballMedium
Delly was the consensus grit icon of mid-2010s NBA. An undrafted Australian who dove on every loose ball and took charges against guys twice his salary.
Void
Jun 2, 2017·Lronmexico Rap
#29808
L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

Use Your One Phone Call From Jail On Mike And Mike

It's getting locked up for getting hyped tonight and using your one call on Mike and Mike.

Hot TakeMediaHotSubjective
Using your one phone call to call into Mike & Mike instead of calling a lawyer is an objectively terrible decision and therefore peak grit.
Void
Jun 2, 2017·Lronmexico Rap
#29809
L. Ron MexicoL. Ron Mexico

Woodhead In The I-Formation Is What Grit Looks Like

This is Woodhead in the I-formation. This is the coach's son, son.

OpinionFootballMediumSubjective
Danny Woodhead in the I-formation and being the coach's son are two of the purest expressions of grit in American sports. Combined, they are the unified field theory of grit.
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