The NBA is now Kevin Durant's league and the torch has been passed from LeBron James

Are you ready for my hot, hot, hot take from Game 1 of the NBA Finals? Hit me. The torch has been passed. It is Kevin Durant's league. Whose man's is the NBA? I said that, yeah. It's Kevin Durant's man's. Passed that off. He said, here you go, KD. It is your league now. Your league.

The Cavaliers will win the 2017 NBA Finals in five games

I still think Cavs... Well, you know what? Cavs in five now. How about that? This is one of those things I'm not even trying to go over the top here. I don't know how you can defend the Warriors.

The Kardashian curse is responsible for Tristan Thompson's poor performance

By the way, speaking of rebounding, Tristan Thompson, four rebounds tonight. Did you also hear that Khloe Kardashian's going around saying she's pregnant with his baby? So the Kardashian curse remains undefeated.

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.