Takes

Jerry Jones should hire Tony Romo as the Cowboys head coach

I think that Tony Romo would be a great coach... because we would get the chance to see Tony Romo blow more fourth quarter games... And Jerry Jones will never fire him. No, make it happen, Jerry.

Tom Brady will play for 2 to 3 more years

I think, you know, if you asked me last year, I could see forward at one year... I think it's a kumbaya period where Bill's happy, Tom's happy... That fucker's having fun, and I think he wants to continue to have fun. So two to three years.

Everyone must watch the Super Bowl

You can't not watch the Super Bowl. Like, you can't... In two weeks' time, you're going to want that football back. Don't take it for granted.

The Pro Bowl has reached a point where it is more fun to joke about than to actually watch

I think it's reached a point where it stinks so bad that it's more fun to joke about the Pro Bowl.

The NFL must move the Pro Bowl back to Hawaii to make it enjoyable again

They really need to bring the Pro Bowl back to Hawaii. There's just something about it. When you get everyone in, you know, you get the Maui surf and people wearing Hawaiian shirts and everyone getting laid. And it's just something about the Hawaii stadium. It just brings out Pro Bowl fun games.

Taysom Hill should be a permanent Pro Bowl fixture because he plays with maximal effort

They should have sent Taysom Hill to the Pro Bowl because he would have just gone balls out the entire time. There always needs to be like one asshole trying way, way, way too hard.

Jon Gruden will struggle with the logistical distractions of the Raiders' move to Las Vegas

[Jon Gruden] doesn't have any idea what he's about ready to go through because... they don't know where they're going to play in 2019 right now... there's the first distraction I think associated with their move.

Steve Wilks was treated unfairly by the Cardinals and should have been given more than one season

I think it is the fact that a lot of it... I don't like seeing is what happened in Arizona. Because Coach [Steve] Wilks is a good person. And he's a good man. And he needs to be given more opportunity than what he got. One year. Especially when you go into a roster like that.

Early morning NFL meetings are counterproductive for millennial players who don't sleep

Today's guys don't sleep. And so if you're a young head coach and you're listening to this program, don't start your meetings at six. Start your meetings at nine. ... After having breakfast, you get them up six and get breakfast seven, they're done.

The NFC Championship officials from Southern California conspired to help the Rams win

Four of the refs, NFC Championship game, were from Southern California, where the LA Rams reside. ... They waited their whole life for the Rams to come back to LA. Then they were like, now's our time to strike. Then they struck.

Jon Gruden uses helmet stickers at the Senior Bowl because he can't remember players' names

Jon Gruden clearly is doing this because he can't remember anyone so he's like... just marking everyone with a Raider tag because he was not going to remember who he liked or not.

The Rams were the equal to or better than the Saints in the NFC Championship

I feel like the better team won... maybe it's not better team won, but they couldn't have been more equal in my mind. So I'm not feeling like it was this huge travesty and one team that really didn't deserve to get there got there.

Carson Wentz is the greatest person character-wise to walk the earth

Carson Wentz is like the greatest person character-wise to walk the earth, bro... I limit my time around Carson Wentz because he makes me feel bad about myself. He makes me feel bad about myself by being awesome.

Alshon Jeffery is the best receiver I have ever played with

In my opinion, [Alshon Jeffery] is the best receiver I've played with. I mean, he is automatic... when I say Alshon is the best receiver, I'm talking about number one, go up and get it, you throw him the ball, he just picks on people.

Aaron Donald is the perfect football player and the baddest dude in the NFL

This kid's the perfect football player. Perfect. It's like they made him in a Petri dish... In my opinion, he's the baddest dude in the NFL as far as just being a badass.

Saints fans should sue the NFL for 'loss of enjoyment of life' after the NFC Championship no-call

The Saints ticket holder lawsuit against Roger Goodell in the NFL. Mental anguish and emotional trauma. Loss of faith in the NFL. That's fantastic. Loss of enjoyment of life. I actually like that... When your team loses like that in the playoffs, just cross off the next three months of your life.

The NFL should host the Super Bowl in Miami, New Orleans, or Vegas every single year

You'll also get one or two people saying the Super Bowl should be in Miami or New Orleans every year. Which I agree. Every year. I actually agree with that. 100% agree.

The Brandin Cooks revenge game is a 2.5 out of 10 in terms of interesting storylines

How about this for maybe, I'd say, a two and a half out of ten in terms of revenge games? The Brandin Cooks revenge game. Can't really get myself up for that one... Anyone who says Brandin Cooks revenge game, it's like, eh, really?

Drew Lock is an alpha male because he gave a reporter double finger guns and a wink

Drew Lock also had the most masculine moment of all time during his press conference today... Reporters were asking him questions. They started asking him how important it is to get his lower body into his throws. And in the middle of the question, he gave him the double finger guns and the wink... This dude is an alpha.

Fix NFL overtime by making both teams play their backup quarterbacks

College overtime, 25-yard line, everything's the same as college overtime... Only wrinkle, each team has to play their backup quarterback. Now we're getting, now we're creating jobs and the backup quarterback becomes a very important position. The minute you go to overtime, your starter can no longer play quarterback.

Rob Gronkowski was sandbagging all season and is actually the best tight end in the NFL again

I'm going to eat a bird, a big black bird with feathers, and say that Rob Gronkowski was sandbagging the entire season. He's totally healthy. He's actually the best tight end in the NFL right now. I'm sure he'll show up for the Super Bowl.

Andy Reid's clock management in overtime was baffling and classic Andy Reid

I still don't understand Andy Reid, and I don't want to blame, you know, do the timeout thing, but you have three timeouts in overtime that can't end in a tie... And he let his defense just die out there without calling one timeout, whether it be at a third and ten, whether it be when the Patriots get to the goal line. It was baffling to see... That happened. I guess it wasn't really baffling because that's Andy Reid.

There is a 75% chance Tom Brady retires if the Patriots win the Super Bowl

Put a percent chance that if the New England Patriots win the Super Bowl, Tom Brady says, I'm off. I'm done. I'm riding off in the sunset John Elway style. [Hank]: 75%? It would be the ultimate way to go out. I hope he does.

Any play the Saints run without Drew Brees under center is a disservice to the team

Anytime you snap the football without Drew Brees under center you're doing your team a disservice. I get it, there's some fun things you can do with Taysom Hill... But, like, it was seriously every fifth or sixth play, like, oh, we haven't had Taysom Hill. Let's get him in there. What are you doing? Just play the Rams straight up, and you'd probably win that game.

Sean McVay owes the hosts a Super Bowl suite and a ring for birthday week

Sean McVay said that he would get us a ring if the Rams win, get us a suite at the Super Bowl... I don't think he fully took off the table that we can call the first play. [PFT]: Well, he said that we could call the last play as a kneel down.

The missed pass interference call against the Saints was retribution for Bounty Gate

Was that no call in the Saints game, retribution finally for Bounty Gate? [PFT]: I think we can say with confidence, absolutely.

If Tom Brady wins on the road Sunday, he will tie Mark Sanchez for road playoff wins

If Tom Brady wins on Sunday in Kansas City, he will finally tie Mark Sanchez for road playoff wins. That is elite company. The elitist.

Patrick Mahomes has to play a perfect game for the Chiefs to win

[Mahomes] has to basically play his perfect game for the Chiefs to win, and I don't think he's going to play his perfect game... Patrick Mahomes is going to throw an interception that everyone's going to be like, what was that?

I'm taking the under 56 in the Patriots-Chiefs game

I'm going to take the under, 56... I like the under because I also think the Patriots are going to basically say, Patrick Mahomes, go ahead, beat us. Not with Tyreek Hill going down with an 80-yard touchdown. Beat us completing passes over and over down the field.

The Saints are a team of destiny to win the Super Bowl in Atlanta

Saints, to me, feel like a team of destiny. The destiny word just changed me... It's the ultimate Sean Payton move to go into Atlanta and win a Super Bowl in Atlanta's hometown. Destiny, Dome, Saints.

Both Championship Sunday games cannot go over

Both these games cannot go over. It just can't happen. It's like the championship Sunday... 56-57, take the under in the first game. If it doesn't hit, take the under in the second game. If it does hit, walk away.

The Patriots will win at Arrowhead and the Rams will win at New Orleans

I think both games will be lower scoring than expected, and I think both road teams are winning. I think the Rams are going to go in there and pound the Saints on the ground... [and] I think [the Patriots are] winning the game. I think they're going in the Arrowhead and winning.

Kyler Murray will be drafted after the 10th pick in the 2019 NFL Draft

[Kyler Murray will be drafted] After [the 10th pick]. 20th, 25, somewhere in there... I think, you know, this kid is in the same situation [as Lamar Jackson].

Blake Bortles will be a backup somewhere next season

[Blake Bortles] is gone. They're cutting him... He'll be a backup somewhere... and then get some chance to start eventually.

The cold weather in Kansas City favors the Chiefs over the Patriots in the AFC Championship.

My hot seat is the New England Patriots. Because it is going to be 5 to 10 degrees in Kansas City... It favors the Kansas City Chiefs. This is their home field. The Patriots, I don't know if they can do it in the cold. We'll see about that.

Adam Gase is already 'done' with the Jets after his bizarre first press conference.

He had maybe the weirdest, like, I don't even know what it was. His eyes were just darting everywhere. He looked like he was being held hostage. And I don't want to be a complete reactionary... but he's done. He cannot survive in the big city.

Bill Belichick will sign Nick Foles just to berate him for the Super Bowl loss

I actually have a theory about what's going to happen. I think Belichick's going to grab [Nick] Foles. If for nothing else, just so that he can stash him and berate him every day, being like, you son of a bitch, you beat me in the Super Bowl.

Nick Foles will sign with the Jaguars or Broncos and won't be that good

I feel like Nick Foles is destined to end up on a team like, I don't know, the Jaguars or maybe the Broncos. He feels like a Broncos quarterback up and down. And then he's just not going to be that good. And everyone's like, well, but he won a Super Bowl.

Taysom Hill will be the next Drew Brees

I am convinced now that Sean Payton will have the next Drew Brees in Taysom Hill because he had that one throw... Taysom Hill's throwing 50-yard bombs. It's not fair.

Philip Rivers is officially a choker in the playoffs

I love him, but he's a choker... 12-4, they looked good. I don't know. I don't know what to make of it. I feel sad. I'm sad for Phil Rivers, and he has eight children to go home to.

I am 80% confident the Patriots will beat the Chiefs in Kansas City

[Big Cat]: What's your confidence level going to Kansas City? [Hank]: 80%.

Patrick Mahomes points too much for first downs

My other thing I noticed about Patrick Mahomes... he points too much. He points too much for first downs.

The front of Patrick Mahomes' helmet is way too big

The front of his helmet, that big white space, it's way too big. Don't you think? It should at least have some writing on it, right?

The Cowboys are in absolute purgatory with Dak Prescott

What do you do with Jason Garrett and Dak? Because now I feel like the Cowboys are in absolute purgatory because Dak did... just enough to make you think that he's the guy, but also missed enough throws and looked just, like, so shitty in the pocket at times to be like, this guy can't do it. He is the perfect test case of how the hell can you give him money?

Cody Parkey on Good Morning America is the end of civilization

Cody Parkey on Good Morning America... fucking ridiculous... This is the end of our civilization, folks. Everything that we stood on for the longest time, America, what it was founded on, not feeling bad for kickers when they fuck up. Guess what? It's over. You got one job to do.

To beat Tom Brady, you must have a completely different second-half game plan

The thing with Tom is if he knows what you're in, he's going to the right place. So without disguising coverages and giving him his own coverage, you've got no chance... in the second half, we had a totally different game plan. So you knew that they were going to go into the locker room, get it figured out. So you had to have a second pitch within the game plan.

Quarterback is the coolest position in all of sports

Being the quarterback on an NFL team is the coolest thing you can do in sports. Like, it is. It just is. It's always going to be the coolest thing. It's always going to be the top of the mountain in terms of position, sport, you name it, quarterback, NFL, will always trump almost everything else.

Kyler Murray might not be worth first-round money because of his height

Since the AFL-NFL merger in 1970, there have been 107 QBs selected in the first round of the draft... [Number of QBs shorter than six feet]: Zero. So what? I just mean that Kyler Murray might not be worth all the money that he thinks he's worth in the NFL... or he's not going to be as good in the NFL as people think he is because he's not that tall.

The Chiefs don't get enough credit for being hilariously bad in the playoffs

The Chiefs don't get enough credit for being hilariously bad in the playoffs... 1-11 in their last 12 playoff games. That is so, so bad. And I actually feel bad for Kansas City fans because it's one of those stats that I didn't even believe when I saw.

I'm taking the Colts +5 and the Over against the Chiefs

I would take the Colts plus five, and I would take the over. The Colts are 1-0, by the way... the over in this game, I love the over in this game because I don't - the Chiefs defense is so bad.