Takes

Antonio Brown will return to the Patriots following his apology to Robert Kraft

Did you see that every single Patriot basically liked it? And he used a semicolon, which means there's a chance that someone wrote it for him, which means that it was like, hey, post this apology. And maybe you'll come back... do you guys think it's a coincidence that after the Patriots' offensive performance on Sunday that this all of a sudden comes very early the next week?

Cam Newton can't be sexist because he only alienates his male teammates

All Cam Newton really had to do, if we're being honest, is just be like, hey, if I'm so sexist, how come I only alienate my male teammates? How come I refuse to dive on balls when men are there? I cross to the other side of the street when I see men on a loose ball.

People who camp outside NFL facilities for tryouts are terrorists

The people that camp outside of NFL training facilities holding signs that say, 'Let me get a tryout. All I need is a shot. I'm hungry.' They're pretty much terrorists because what they're doing is they're going on like a hunger strike... You can't bypass the system.

The 'Redskins' name is the only slur that has gotten less offensive over time

That is really the only word then that has gotten less offensive as time goes on. Like name any other slur and it always gets more offensive... I think white people need to kind of pat themselves on the back on this one for making Redskins no longer a racist term.