Takes

The US Men's National Team will win the 2026 World Cup because of Folarin Balogun

We got a big defection... Folarin Balogun. He's on the arsenal, he's on the arsenals and he's a striker. And we don't have a striker... so it's coming home 2026. Hell, yes. Way to go, dude.

The US will win the World Cup in 25 years because Cristiano Ronaldo's son is an American citizen

Cristiano Ronaldo's son is now playing for Juventus under nine. And he was born in San Diego, so he's an American citizen. He's like the Johnny Appleseed for the future of U.S. soccer. We just need Cristiano Ronaldo to impregnate just as many women as possible... in America.