Todd Haley and Gregg Williams are the meanest sons of bitches in the world

My biggest takeaway from Hard Knocks is that Todd Haley and Greg Williams combined are the meanest sons of bitches in the world.

Hue Jackson has a future as the Lorne Michaels of comedy football

I actually think [Hue] Jackson has a future as a Lorne Michaels. He's just been putting together the perfect comedy troupe of a football team for the last three years.

Devon Cajuste's belief in the power of crystals and the full moon will be what gets him a spot on the Browns roster

I actually do kind of believe in the crystals, like the harnessing of the crystal power is probably what's going to get [Cajuste] on the team. Either that or the full moon. Once a month, he will give you a hell of a game.

The Falcons are a real, flawed good team

I do think that the Falcons are real. Yeah. I think that they're a good team. They're a flawed good team.

The Falcons may have the NFL's best skill-position group

I think that if the Falcons can do that, they have maybe the best set of skill position players in the NFL. If you're able to protect Penix, he's good enough to distribute it and then just let their awesome players do awesome shit.

MLB's proposed check-swing replay would make everything a check swing

Yeah. Parallel with the plate. Yeah. That's what I thought the rule was. And apparently that's just not the rule anymore. If they ever bring this system to Major League Baseball, I get—everything's a check swing.