Takes

Every hobby a man has is designed primarily to attract women

It's from Ed Latimore, former professional boxer... All of your hobbies and ambitions are to attract women. Nature doesn't care how much personal fulfillment you get from them. Those things are cool, but they're coincidental positive externality to the Prime objective to keep the species going. Every hobby that you have is designed to attract women.

Mars is officially canceled

I'm over Mars. You know what? Mars is canceled. I'm canceling Mars. I'm so sick of Mars. There's not water there. I'm done with Mars. Don't talk to me about Mars.

Phillies manager Gabe Kapler is incompetent and trying to get fired

I don't think we've ever seen someone become a baseball manager that doesn't know what the fuck he's doing whatsoever... Everyone's got to follow Gabe Kapler because I think this is the first time ever where someone got a job they didn't want and they're trying to get fired.

Colin Kaepernick is being blackballed because his name is too difficult to spell

I actually think Colin Kaepernick's getting blackballed because his last name's annoying to spell. The whole A before E thing is very problematic. I mean, I always say cap because I don't want to spell it out and be wrong. So teams are probably like, you know what? We don't want all of our fans on Twitter to look like idiot fans by misspelling the quarterback's name.

Kobe Bryant is the greatest of all time

But I think to avoid this debate, the stance of this podcast is just going to be Kobe. We're just Kobe guys. Kobe is the greatest of all time. Just so we never have to debate this again.