PMT DB
PMT DB
Hank Azaria on Brockmire, The Simpsons, and Washington’s Annual Choke
The Washington Capitals have done it again. PFT returned from D.C. after witnessing yet another Game 7 second-round exit at the hands of the Penguins, and the energy in the studio was part funeral, part psychiatric evaluation. Big Cat didn't even try to be sympathetic, immediately leaning into the fact that this is simply who the Capitals are. While PFT tried to find a silver lining in a beautiful handshake line, the reality is that the Ovechkin era is officially reaching a point of no return for D.C. sports fans.
Between PFT wearing cornrows to get out of his funk and Big Cat playing a compilation of all the times they've predicted the Caps would finally break through, the misery was palpable. PFT even floated the idea of getting a pre-emptive tattoo just to manifest some luck for next year, though Big Cat suggested he might want to aim a little lower than a championship trophy.
PFT CommenterThe Washington Capitals will be 2018 Stanley Cup champions
I might just go tonight and get a Washington Capitals 2018 Stanley Cup champions tattoo.
PFT CommenterD.C. is a loser town
Say what you want about Dan Snyder. They always compare the D.C. teams because D.C. is a loser town. I agree with that 100%. You can't really make an argument against that.
NBA Playoffs and Guys on Chicks
Hank is riding high with his Celtics heading toward a clash with LeBron, but he isn't exactly booking his trip to the Finals just yet. The series against the Wizards has been a bizarre back-and-forth of 30-point home blowouts, and the prospect of facing a locked-in LeBron James has the resident Celtics fan a bit shaky.
HankI am not confident about the Celtics playing the Cavaliers in the Eastern Conference Finals
I'm not really going to act like I'm super confident about playing the Cavs.
During Guys on Chicks, the discussion veered into the psychology of bar interactions. PFT revealed his deep-seated suspicion of any woman who voluntarily strikes up a conversation with him, assuming there must be a hidden motive or a "sting operation" involved.
PFT CommenterIf a woman approaches me at a bar, she definitely has a hidden angle
I've conditioned myself to think that if a woman approaches me, she definitely, no matter what she talks about, she has an angle. It does not compute to me that a girl wants to talk to me because she's interested in having a conversation with me.
Hank Azaria Joins the Show
The legendary Hank Azaria stopped by to talk about his show *Brockmire* and his three decades on *The Simpsons*. He broke down the origin of the "generic baseball announcer voice" and how Jim Brockmire is basically the embodiment of every 1970s broadcaster who could make anything sound professional. Hank also shared his genuine love for MLB's more "robust" athletes, specifically a certain Mets pitcher who defies the laws of physics.
Hank AzariaProfessional athletes who are 'disability check fat' like Bartolo Colon are the best
Jim Brockmire's favorite is Bartolo Colon. Because you have to love any professional athlete that is very nearly disability check fat.
We also got into a deep discussion about the "stink" that follows certain franchises. Big Cat argued that some teams are simply destined to lose regardless of who is on the roster, a theory that felt particularly relevant given the week the Capitals just had.
Big CatThe Raptors, Bengals, Capitals, and Mets have a 'stink' that makes them destined to lose
I actually do think there is something to be said for a franchise just having that stink where you're like, no matter what, no matter how good we are, we're probably going to lose. The Cubs had that. The Mets have it now. The Raptors... they're a joke until they win a title. The Bengals have the best team in the league, and you should be like, come on, it's the Bengals.
PFT CommenterA franchise's failure is caused by either a curse or a lack of the 'clutch gene'
It comes down to two things. It's either a curse or the franchise doesn't have the clutch gene. As an announcer, those are the two things that you have to talk about.
The highlight of the interview was undoubtedly the table reads. Hank performed a scene from *Scarface* as Apu and then tackled the "Tell the Truth" monologue from *Concussion* in the voice of Dr. Nick Riviera. Hearing a cartoon doctor scream about the end of football while PFT played Will Smith’s Dr. Bennet Omalu is exactly why this show exists.
Spin Zone and Jimbos
The guys checked in on Josh Gordon’s denied reinstatement, with Big Cat pointing out the irony of the league’s stance on player health. Roger Goodell is still keeping the weed out of the league while the pharmaceutical companies keep the pain pills flowing, but PFT thinks Gordon might have actually lucked out in the long run.
PFT CommenterRoger Goodell punishing Josh Gordon by not letting him play for the Browns is actually doing him a favor
Telling a player that your punishment is that you don't have to play for the Cleveland Browns is probably a little bit misguided. So, like, hey, good for Josh. He doesn't have to be a Brown.
Big CatThe NFL letting players take pain pills while banning weed is hypocritical
Good thing that they keep giving everyone all those pain pills and everything like that. There's a difference. Weed's addictive. [Sarcastic] You can only buy pain pills from large pharmaceutical companies who usually have the consumer's best interest in mind.
In Trouble in Paradise, we looked at the brewing feud between Derek Jeter and A-Rod. While the media focuses on the awkwardness of their joint interviews, Big Cat sees it as a simple case of the Captain being unable to handle the sheer corporate dominance of A-Rod Corp.
Big CatDerek Jeter is jealous of the massive business success of A-Rod Corp
I think that's the bottom of it, is that Derek Jeter is jealous of all of the business success A-Rod Corp has had... They've signed nonstop baseballs. They sold like 50 golf shirts... Meanwhile, Derek Jeter can't buy the Marlins. Derek Jeter, classic blogger... probably taking pot shots at real businessmen.
Finally, to save everyone from the most exhausting sports conversation on earth, Big Cat decided to officially change the podcast's stance on the GOAT debate. To avoid the MJ vs. LeBron circular logic, the show has pivoted to a third option to shut down all future arguments.
Big CatKobe Bryant is the greatest of all time
But I think to avoid this debate, the stance of this podcast is just going to be Kobe. We're just Kobe guys. Kobe is the greatest of all time. Just so we never have to debate this again.
Big CatMJ is the greatest of all time
As much as I obviously don't want to get in the debate because I obviously everyone knows where I stand. MJ, greatest of all time.
Don't forget to check out the Barstool store for new Grit Week merch before the guys hit the road for the Indy 500 and beyond.
At least the Capitals can't lose again for several months.
