Hank Azaria

The Capitals will never win anything with Alex Ovechkin

The Capitals continually disappoint you. You know that they're never going to do anything with Ovechkin.

D.C. is a loser town

Say what you want about Dan Snyder. They always compare the D.C. teams because D.C. is a loser town. I agree with that 100%. You can't really make an argument against that.

The Washington Capitals will be 2018 Stanley Cup champions

I might just go tonight and get a Washington Capitals 2018 Stanley Cup champions tattoo.

I am not confident about the Celtics playing the Cavaliers in the Eastern Conference Finals

I'm not really going to act like I'm super confident about playing the Cavs.

Professional athletes who are 'disability check fat' like Bartolo Colon are the best

Jim Brockmire's favorite is Bartolo Colon. Because you have to love any professional athlete that is very nearly disability check fat.

The Raptors, Bengals, Capitals, and Mets have a 'stink' that makes them destined to lose

I actually do think there is something to be said for a franchise just having that stink where you're like, no matter what, no matter how good we are, we're probably going to lose. The Cubs had that. The Mets have it now. The Raptors... they're a joke until they win a title. The Bengals have the best team in the league, and you should be like, come on, it's the Bengals.

Roger Goodell punishing Josh Gordon by not letting him play for the Browns is actually doing him a favor

Telling a player that your punishment is that you don't have to play for the Cleveland Browns is probably a little bit misguided. So, like, hey, good for Josh. He doesn't have to be a Brown.

Derek Jeter is jealous of A-Rod's business success with A-Rod Corp

I think that's the bottom of it, is that Derek Jeter is jealous of all of the business success A-Rod Corp has had... They sold like 50 golf shirts. He had lunch with his little girls the other day. Meanwhile, Derek Jeter can't buy the Marlins.

MJ is the greatest of all time

As much as I obviously don't want to get in the debate because I obviously everyone knows where I stand. MJ, greatest of all time.

Kobe Bryant is the greatest of all time

But I think to avoid this debate, the stance of this podcast is just going to be Kobe. We're just Kobe guys. Kobe is the greatest of all time. Just so we never have to debate this again.

If you get injured outside of your sport, you should have to play that other sport until you get a sports-related injury

I've always said that if you get injured in a manner outside of the sport that you play, you should be forced to continue playing the sport until you develop a sports-related injury. So this guy, [Tyson Barrie], he got hurt wrestling... keep skating out there until it devolves into a massive hockey injury.