Skip to content
PMTPMT DB
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

A franchise's failure is caused by either a curse or a lack of the 'clutch gene'

It comes down to two things. It's either a curse or the franchise doesn't have the clutch gene. As an announcer, those are the two things that you have to talk about.

This is a satirical take on how sports analysis works.

More from this episode

View episode
Loss
Big CatBig Cat

The Capitals will never win anything with Alex Ovechkin

The Capitals continually disappoint you. You know that they're never going to do anything with Ovechkin.

The Capitals and Ovechkin won the Stanley Cup the very next season (2018).
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

D.C. is a loser town

Say what you want about Dan Snyder. They always compare the D.C. teams because D.C. is a loser town. I agree with that 100%. You can't really make an argument against that.

While subjective, the 'loser town' label was shortly debunked by championships from the Capitals (2018), Mystics (2019), and Nationals (2019).
Win
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Washington Capitals will be 2018 Stanley Cup champions

I might just go tonight and get a Washington Capitals 2018 Stanley Cup champions tattoo.

The Capitals did indeed win the 2018 Stanley Cup. PFT later famously got this tattoo.

More from PFT Commenter

View profile
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Knicks will probably win the series in five games or even sweep the Cavs

I still think that the, the Knicks are probably gonna win in five. They could even pull off the sweep. I guess the only real question we have for you, 'cause we already, we declared that the New York Knicks have won the series after game one. Correct.

The series is currently ongoing with the Knicks leading 2-0.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The NBA should rebrand the 'granny shot' as the 'pimp grip' to encourage players to use it

Nobody, no player in the NBA wants to shoot a free throw granny style. But if it's pimp grip, that sounds pretty fucking cool. Listen, if it goes in, it doesn't matter. Like if he and he would, he actually probably get some endorsements from it.

This is a comedic suggestion and not a verifiable fact claim.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

I want the Thunder to win so we can love Victor Wembanyama longer before the inevitable hate cycle starts

I know who I want to win. I want the Thunder to win this series. And the reason why I want the thunder to win this series is because I think if the thunder win, we get to restart the clock on how much longer we get to love Weby before we hate 'em. If the Spurs win this series and then they win their first championship and Weby dominates, we're gonna eventually hate Weby.

The outcome of the series is pending, and the 'hate cycle' is a subjective sociological prediction.