Takes

Strength is a choice

I just, you know what I did towards the end [of my bench press] I was struggling and I went 'choose to be strong.' I was like, 'Wait, how many more do you have?' I go, 'Hey, why don't you just choose to be strong?' Mind over matter.

You should always take the deal to have all your teams win championships in one year, even if they never win again

I think you gotta take the year. Because, alright, I'm thinking about my college teams too. And I don't think that my college teams are ever gonna win a title. So I'm basically getting a guaranteed one that I would never get. Sweeping the entire board for an entire year—you just have that for the rest of your life.

The NFL season should start in late October and run through April to preserve the summer

I kind of wish football season was in a different part of the year... I find myself trying to wish away the summer, which is the best season in terms of weather... I kind of wish we had summer after football season... if football started in late October and went till April and then it's like summer.

Connor McDavid still sucks because he hasn't won the big one

Not that he [McDavid] needs it again. He, he still hasn't won the big one, so we're gonna wait on that... Right now. He still sucks. In a way I'm kind of hoping that he loses so we can really focus this take on him. Like, losing in the Stanley Cup finals would be the ultimate point on that crown of cannot win the big one.

I'm rooting for the Edmonton Oilers and Canada to win the Stanley Cup

I think I'm rooting for Canada. Sorry Jake. Sorry about your [Florida Panthers]. Me versus the world. I am as well. Yeah. I just, Canada, you're just so nice. Just cares so much.

The 2023-24 season was likely the Rangers' best chance to win a Stanley Cup for a long time

This year was probably their best year. [The New York Rangers].

WNBA players are 100% jealous of Caitlin Clark and they should just admit it

The people who are jealous of Caitlin Clark and when they take cheap shots at her... they are jealous. They're jealous of Caitlin Clark. They 100% are, it's okay to admit it. They're going again. They're going to be footnotes in Caitlin Clark's career. When it's all said and done, they're going to be the Lance Stephenson blowing in LeBron's ear.

The WNBA players' hatred for Caitlin Clark will ultimately be good for the sport's growth

Having this type of hatred and love, I think is ultimately gonna be very, very good for the WNBA. Let sports be sports, let them be fun too. Let's just, let's just sports happen... When Caitlin Clark wins, it's gonna be awesome for her.

Replacement caddy is the easiest job in professional sports

I feel like a replacement caddy is the easiest job in sports... You need a guy that's just gonna do the job and this guy... That's a man that can do the job.

Luka Dončić is impossible to guard because he's a 'heavy' 245 pounds and uses his body perfectly

He's heavy, right? You know, with with, with respect to the heavy people out there... Luka is heavy man and he's a good, healthy, heavy, like strong, sturdy. He's still quick. He, he, he has a great change of speed... I mean he's gotta be at least 245, maybe heavier healthy body fat. ... Luca is heavy, hard to guard. He can lean on you, he can post you up.

Luka Dončić takes the matchup against Kristaps Porziņģis personally

Luca and [Porzingis] played together and it didn't go well... I think if you know anything about Luca, he takes things very personally and this is a chance for him to really beat a guy he played with and wasn't able to necessarily get over the hump with.

Luka Dončić is already a better player than Dirk Nowitzki ever was

Jay Kidd said he was already better than Dirk, you know, he's 25 years old... they're already talking about he's better than Dirk and he ain't even won a [ring]... this is telling you how special this kid is. Like this man is a real problem and he's still not really in his prime.

There is no way on earth Lenny Kravitz hasn't had sex in nine years

Lenny Kravitz said that he hasn't had sex in nine years. Yeah, he hasn't fucked in nine years. That must be really, that's impossible. Difficult for Lenny Kravitz to do that. That's insane. ... Lenny Kravitz is so hot that there's no one on earth that can make him come.

Karl-Anthony Towns is the hardest player in the NBA to fully get behind and root for.

If you're a Timberwolves fan, I, God bless you because you are, you have to root for Karl-Anthony Towns. He must be so infuriating to root for. I'm just saying he, he is probably the hardest player to fully delude yourself into getting behind in the [NBA].

The Timberwolves lost Game 5 the moment they decided to wear their 'terrible' alternate jerseys.

The Timberwolves... you lost the game the minute you went with those jerseys. It's terrible. Jerseys terrible. Max, I saw your face... those are not back against the wall jerseys. No, those are game two jerseys. Preferably a game two of the season in October.

Karl-Anthony Towns cannot claim to be the best big man shooter of all time because he lacks post moves.

Karl-Anthony Towns is a self-proclaimed best big man shooter of all time. I feel like you have to have post moves, like really good post moves to be able to say that, to claim that. Otherwise, you're just a tall shooter. There's a difference between being tall and being a big man.

The Mavericks will win because Kyrie Irving and Luka Dončić are better closers than the Celtics' stars

I think that this is gonna be a very close series. It's going to come down to very tight games at the end. And one team has two guys that have proven to be excellent closers against very good teams in this playoffs. And the Celtics have looked a little Iffy.

I'm worried Hard Knocks will ruin the Bears' upcoming season

There's a small part of me that's worried that hard knocks might taint all the success the Bears have had these last few years. Like this could go south.

I want the Rangers to win Game 6 and then lose Game 7 in historic, embarrassing fashion

I would like the Rangers to win game six. And then lose in historic fashion [in game 7].

Fans would not cheer if Jose Altuve died on the field, despite how much they hate the Astros.

[Ben Verlander] tweeted yesterday: 'I honestly think if [Jose Altuve] got hit in the head and died on the field, people would cheer.' I don't think that. I don't think so. I think it'd probably be pretty quiet. Probably be a 'ooh'. Probably cancel baseball for a couple weeks. Maybe a week. At least a day. No, Ben's way off on this one.

Major League Baseball is only integrating Negro League stats to make themselves look like the good guy

The weird part to me is MLB segregated the black players. Told them they cannot play in the M lb. Yes. Created, like, made them create their own leagues because like you cannot play. We're keeping you out. And now 80 years later, they're basically inheriting their statistics and putting them on the MLB website and almost erasing it. Like the Negro Leagues being like Oh. yeah. It's all part of MLB. ... It feels like they're just kind of patting the Negro Leagues on the head being like, these are ours now.

Instant replay has become a 'necessary evil' that hurts the flow and quality of the NBA product.

I don't know if [replay has] made it more difficult [to announce]. I think it hurts the product a little bit. It's become a necessary evil and they're certainly not going back to no replay. But there are certain times that the flow of the game is affected and that's when the games at it's best... those games, especially a playoff game where it's like a three, four minute review, those are maddening to me.

Madison Square Garden is the best arena in the world for a major sporting event

Madison Square Garden is right up there. There is no better place when it's a big event. Whether it's basketball, whether it's hockey, even like a concert. There's just no better place.

The 'Bang!' call would work perfectly for a game-winning NFL field goal.

Can 'bang' go in any other sports? Could you use it in any other sports? I think you go hands. You wait for hands. Game winning field goal. Bang! Works. [A] game winning field goal, 'bang' works.

Age 40 is a major cutoff; your fitness level on the day you turn 40 determines your physical trajectory for the rest of your life.

It's time to get back in shape. Gotta get in shape before you're 40. I feel like anything you do before you're 40, that's who you're gonna be after 40. 40 is like a big cutoff. If I'm in shape the day I turn 40, I can get fat and then get back in shape. No problem.

Dots Pretzels are the most addictive snack in existence

I've never been addicted to a snack more than this. And it's dangerous. It is crazy.

Bill Walton died because his work on earth was done once the Pac-12 ended

The Pac-12 ends, Bill's like, well my work here is done. [He's] probably hanging out with Jerry Garcia right now and the Pac-12 is on 24/7.

The Celtics are a seasoned team that has overcome their past tendencies to 'turtle up' in close games

The Celtics are a seasoned team that knows how to make big plays and that's what they did time and time again in this series. In the past when it feels like they turtle up in close games... they didn't do that at all. They found a way to win.

The NBA Finals schedule is idiotic for making fans wait until June 6th regardless of when the conference finals end

I'm rooting for double sweep just so we can make fun of the NBA scheduling. Fans have to book their hotels and tickets months ago... there's no way an NBA fan books their hotels and plane tickets for the Finals months in advance. It doesn't make any sense.

Kyrie Irving is a better player than Jrue Holiday

Kyrie's better... than Jrue Holiday? Yeah. Because I don't think he's better than Tatum but has hasn't been playing out of this, out of his mind. Their championship experience supersedes the Celtics because their championship guy is better.

The WNBA fans and media are ruining the fun of sports with cultural think pieces

Caitlin Clark is adding so many new fans and there's a lot of fans that are just taking the fun out of sports. Everything that happens in the WNBA now has to be a fucking bigger cultural talking point. It's like, hey, it's fucking sports. Shut the fuck up... there's seven think pieces after every game she plays.

Caitlin Clark has a marketing problem because every game results in cultural think pieces

I actually feel bad for Caitlin Clark... what's happening is there's no way that she can tune out all this stuff. I've got seven people on slate.com writing about why Caitlin Clark is problematic for the league and how the league has a marketing problem.

Draymond Green is 'going out sad' and only complaining because his career is ending

I think Draymond Green knows it's over and he's going out really sad, just complaining. He's made $177 million... for him to say that the fines are the big problem... I think there might be a small part of him when he goes to bed at night, he's like, did I call Steph like a couple rings? And it's over. He's grasping at whatever he can to try to keep it going.

Michael Jordan is the best player I ever played against

Well, Michael Jordan. Yeah, I would say that's fair answer... Michael is so fun to play with, right. I mean, he's a great competitor as we all know.

The 1986 Celtics are the greatest team of all time, better than the 1996 Bulls

No, no, no. Not up there. It's above [the 1996 Bulls]... Best team of all time. In my unbiased team... we were 50 and 1 [at home]. That's insane... we just assumed [playing the Lakers in the Finals] was gonna happen. We weren't gonna lose either way.

My wife fell for me because I dominated her previous boyfriend in flag football at BYU

That's close [to what happened]. He played center, I played quarterback... that's what I claimed to my wife. That's when she fell for me. I wasn't supposed to be playing flag football.

Bill Walton thought he was a chess genius but actually sucked at it

We thought he was like a chess genius... Finally one day I challenged to play him and I beat him and then Jerry Sichting challenged to play him and he beat him. And we said, you can't ever talk chess again. You are not good.

If a player is a great athlete and has a good brain, shooting is the skill they can always learn

I mean, if a guy is a great athlete and a good player has a good brain but can't shoot, I think that's a good bet... they can learn that. Like Scotty Pippen, Magic Johnson... they weren't great shooters... they still would've been great players. Kawhi Leonard was another guy that wasn't a great shooter in college and turned out to be one of the best.

Jimmy Butler is my biggest draft regret

I would say Jimmy Butler is the first one that comes to mind. It was, you know, he was a late first round pick and he was seriously in our thoughts of drafting and we went another direction.

Jalen Brown is the best player on the Celtics except for almost every statistical category

I can definitely smell a narrative that's building. There are gonna be people that ask like, is Jalen Brown really the, the leader of this team? Is he the best player on this team? And aside from the player efficiency rating, scoring field goal percentage and defense and dribbling with your left wind shares and all the other advanced stats, except for all those, he is the best player on the team.

The Boston Police Department giving the Pacers an escort is proof the series is over

The reason why this series is over is after the game, Rick Carlisle, thank the Boston Police for escorting the Pacers team bus today... Do you think there's any chance if the Boston Celtics or the Boston Police thought the Pacers posed any type of threat, they would escort 'em and give them that type of treatment? That is a full sign that they know this series is over.

Luka Doncic is currently the best player left in the NBA playoffs

I said he is the best player left in the playoffs with four teams left. . . Luka Doncic, what he did on Wednesday night is why he's the best player left in the playoffs.

Jason Tatum is the 4th, 5th, or 6th best player in the NBA

Let's just end this Jason Tatum thing for one last time. I have him ranked somewhere between the fourth and the sixth best player in the NBA... [If he wins the finals and Olympics] I'd probably have him third.

Anthony Edwards has not been good enough over his last six games

Anthony Edwards has not scored 20 points in four of his last six games. That's not good enough.

It would be very funny if the Indiana Fever don't win a single game this year

It would be kind of funny if [the Fever] don't win a game. I mean, I'm rooting for that.

I'm okay with colleges paying players directly because fans shouldn't have to fund NIL

I think I'm okay with this because I don't think that fans should have to fund these college programs any more than they already do. . . Why isn't, if you keep showing to me that like the Big 10 and the SEC and the ACC keeps signing billion dollar TV rights deals, why can't the players get a little of that?

Inside the NBA is significantly more important to the NBA's culture than the In-Season Tournament

Inside the NBA is more important to the NBA than the in-season tournament by a large margin. Like those are not equal to me in terms of the consumption of the culture around the sport, the way the sports talked about.

Kyrie Irving has become the elder statesman and leader in the Mavericks' locker room

Kyrie so settled in even more than last year, he's such a leader in the locker room. . . the fact that Kyrie has willingly stepped in to do all of that, the guys in that locker room love him. It's really unbelievable.

Living in the Northeast keeps you in a state of constant mayhem and anxiety

You don't realize the Northeast, Philly and New York, it's like you're constantly under mayhem. Your angst is up, your anxiety's flying. You're just angry for no reason.

It is impossible to be a sports fan on the same level in California as it is in the Northeast

If my team loses a big game and it's like, oh, it's 70 degrees and go to the beach. I just don't think you hold it in the same. . . You go, I'm sitting at a beach. My team just lost. Who do I think I am?