Takes

Mistaking a water bottle full of vodka for actual water is one of the worst experiences.

I will go with vodka that's in a water bottle that you [think is] water. That's the worst. You expect water and you get a throat full of vodka.

Cardboard Boxed Water is a terrible product that tastes disgusting.

Cardboard water is my last one. Oh, that shit sucks. Like Boxed Water... it sucks, it's disgusting.

Wheaties taste like an old person's butthole

Wheaties. Mmm great boxes and they're great workers because they just they made everyone who wins an Olympic gold medal want to be on the cover of their cereal box, even though their cereal tastes like shit tastes like an old person's like butthole.

Honey Bunches of Oats is the greatest cereal hack for eating sugar disguised as health food

I'm also happy that no one said Honey Bunches of Oats Because that's the greatest like hack of eating healthy, but it's really just sugar cereal agreed that I love Honey Bunches of Oats. It's my whole unit like, oh, yeah. I'm eating healthy here.