Takes

The Browns defense will lead the league in swag this season

A stat that we'll have to keep our eye on this upcoming season. Jim Schwartz from the Browns said that their defense may not lead the league in points against, but they will lead it in swag. Okay. So we're gonna have to keep a running tally on whether or not the Browns are actually leading the league in swag.

Aaron Rodgers looks happier in New York than I've ever seen him

Aaron Rodgers looking as happy as I've ever seen him in his entire life. I'm so happy he's found a new home. The pre-game rundown of what Aaron Rodgers has been doing since his time in New York was hilarious. Yes. I don't know if you heard it, but they were like, he's been going to Broadway shows every week.

New Urban Meyer Jaguars stories will never run out

I hope we just never run out. Like every year it should just be, it's basically a time capsule. We should just open it up every year and be like, what's the new Urban Meyer anecdote from his less than one year in Jacksonville?

Jim Irsay is spending $20M to fly an orca for positive PR during the Jonathan Taylor drama

I just love Jim Irsay being like, I, I'm getting so much shit this week. I, my name's being dragged through the mud about the Jonathan Taylor situation. I need some positive press. Oh, I know what I'll do. I'll spend $20M to fly a whale across the country.

There is a 0% chance they successfully fly an orca in a cargo plane

I can't, there's, I I just, I know you guys are just fucking with me, but [there's] no way. 0%. 0% [chance this happens].

Notre Dame is the only winner in the current conference realignment mess

Do you know who actually coming out looking pretty good in all of this conference realignment? I never thought I'd say this. Notre Dame. They stay with their tradition. They're committed to being independent. They make all the money and they don't have to worry about it.

The Yankees treated Anthony Rizzo poorly by playing him through a concussion for two months

In the 53 games before this concussion, he had 11 home runs, was batting .304. In the 46 games since this concussion... he had one home run and was batting .172. It's just interesting the timing where it's after they're pretty much done for the season. They did my guy Rizzo wrong.