Jared Goff, Mt Rushmore Of Things That Are Fun Once, Grit Week Recap And A Farewell To Billy Football

The Browns defense will lead the league in swag this season

A stat that we'll have to keep our eye on this upcoming season. Jim Schwartz from the Browns said that their defense may not lead the league in points against, but they will lead it in swag. Okay. So we're gonna have to keep a running tally on whether or not the Browns are actually leading the league in swag.

Aaron Rodgers looks happier in New York than I've ever seen him

Aaron Rodgers looking as happy as I've ever seen him in his entire life. I'm so happy he's found a new home. The pre-game rundown of what Aaron Rodgers has been doing since his time in New York was hilarious. Yes. I don't know if you heard it, but they were like, he's been going to Broadway shows every week.

New Urban Meyer Jaguars stories will never run out

I hope we just never run out. Like every year it should just be, it's basically a time capsule. We should just open it up every year and be like, what's the new Urban Meyer anecdote from his less than one year in Jacksonville?

Jim Irsay is spending $20M to fly an orca for positive PR during the Jonathan Taylor drama

I just love Jim Irsay being like, I, I'm getting so much shit this week. I, my name's being dragged through the mud about the Jonathan Taylor situation. I need some positive press. Oh, I know what I'll do. I'll spend $20M to fly a whale across the country.

There is a 0% chance they successfully fly an orca in a cargo plane

I can't, there's, I I just, I know you guys are just fucking with me, but [there's] no way. 0%. 0% [chance this happens].

Notre Dame is the only winner in the current conference realignment mess

Do you know who actually coming out looking pretty good in all of this conference realignment? I never thought I'd say this. Notre Dame. They stay with their tradition. They're committed to being independent. They make all the money and they don't have to worry about it.

The Yankees treated Anthony Rizzo poorly by playing him through a concussion for two months

In the 53 games before this concussion, he had 11 home runs, was batting .304. In the 46 games since this concussion... he had one home run and was batting .172. It's just interesting the timing where it's after they're pretty much done for the season. They did my guy Rizzo wrong.

Amon-Ra St. Brown is going to have a huge year in 2023

I just got done throwing with St. Brown out in LA and seeing his progression this off-season. I'm like, that kid's gonna have a big year.

The 2018 NFC Championship non-call was not pass interference

Was it pass interference? No, not, it wasn't. Was it called Pass interference? It was not. I've had a million pass interferences that weren't called. They can be mad. I every once in a while... I'll like, kind of, you know, just toss it out there.

Dan Campbell is as smart as anyone I've ever been around in football

I've told people a million times, he looks like a meathead. He's big strong dude. He talks like he does, but he's as smart as anyone I've been around. It's some the art of war shit. Like, make them, make your opponent believe that you're unprepared and then he kind of likes it.

Beating a video game is something that is only fun once

Beating a video game. Once you [beat it], you can't go back and beat another video... like yes you can, [but] it's not as fun. If you beat Goldeneye and you go back and you know all the secrets and stuff, it does not have that same allure. The first time you beat Goldeneye, you think that you are God.

Titty fucking is only fun to do once

I think guys, if you guys, the one person will agree with me... It is the man. We're doing it. Drum roll: titty fucking. It's simply fun [only] once. That is something that like you're in middle school, you dream about and then you do it and it's like, this isn't that fun. I've literally only done it once 'cause I was like, I don't need to do this shit.

Throwing a house party in high school is only fun the first time

Throwing a house party in high school. When parents aren't there. It's fun the first time you might get away with it. You might not, but you still had that one time. But then you can't really do it again. Or if you do it again, it gets out of hand. Your first one's a banger people, the bar's gonna be so high for the future ones that like you can only go downhill.

All humans are animals, and you should look for the animal within you

Love you guys. All humans are animals. If you're ever feeling down, look for the animal within you.