Takes

I bet Caleb Williams went back to painting his nails to get back to the basics

Caleb Williams is my one to watch. There was an article that came out in ESPN today about why he stopped painting his nails last season and the fact that he is back to painting his nails now. He needs to get back to basics. It's like the peacock—the basics here are painting your nails.

Deshaun Watson is ruining the team he wants to be traded to

You're essentially saying, I want to be traded to a team that then will give up a bunch of draft capital and then hurt my ability to play for a winning team. In a way, yeah. He's almost kind of shitting in his own house and then buying the house.

No team should trade four first-round picks for Deshaun Watson

I think that you would be screwing yourself so royally over for the future if you give up four first-round picks... I wouldn't do it for four.

I would never trade Patrick Mahomes for anything

I wouldn't trade Patrick Mahomes for anything. I mean, you're pretty much guaranteeing that you're going to the AFC Championship game for the next, like, 15 years.

Dak Prescott sucks

Dak Prescott sucks. He sucks. And anytime – everyone's like, well, he lost to Zeke Elliott. Well, if losing your running back means that you aren't a good quarterback anymore, you weren't a good quarterback to begin with.