PMT DB
PMT DB
Mark Titus on Elite 8, Zion's Legacy, and Coach K's Brand
The Elite Eight is in the books, and we are left with a Final Four that nobody saw coming. But before we could even talk about the games, we had to address the elephant in the room: Hank is a fraud. Despite Duke losing and the world needing him to save a life, Hank is refusing to get a cat. He’s claiming the stipulations of the bet weren't met, but Big Cat and PFT aren't buying it. Hank’s skin is currently the color of a steamed lobster because he doesn't understand how clouds work, which feels like cosmic justice for the homeless kittens he’s neglected.
Zion’s Farewell and the Blue Blood Collapse
Duke falling to Michigan State was the shock of the weekend, mostly because it means the end of the Zion Williamson era in college hoops. Big Cat was genuinely bummed to see the big man go, noting that Zion was essentially the only reason to watch the sport for large stretches of the winter.
Big CatZion Williamson was the college basketball season and his departure leaves a hole in the Final Four.
I'm going to miss Zion a lot because he was so much fun to watch this season. He was the college basketball season, and he leaves like a hole in all of our hearts for the Final Four. Zion was the only one who, like, wanted it, I felt like, a lot of times during this Duke run.
While Tom Izzo is heading back to another Final Four, PFT wasn't ready to crown him just yet. In true PFT fashion, he questioned the legacy of a guy who "only" makes Final Fours instead of stacking up rings like a mid-2000s dynasty.
PFT CommenterTom Izzo is a very overrated coach because he does not win enough championships.
I still think that Izzo is very, very, very overrated. Final fours. Yeah, that's fine... When was the last time they won a championship? I'm about rings, dude. I don't know about you. I don't care about Final Fours, all that bullshit.
Kentucky fans are also in their feelings after losing to Auburn in a game where Bruce Pearl sweated through three different layers of clothing. The guys went through a classic Big Mad segment, highlighting Kentucky fans who blamed Papa John’s blue sweater for the loss. Big Cat pointed out that while Auburn had the heart, the talent gap was still hilarious.
Big CatKentucky would destroy Auburn if the game were played on an NBA court instead of a college court.
[Kentucky] has too many NBA caliber players and it doesn't translate to college ball. Kentucky would destroy Auburn on an NBA court... That's actually very, very true.
Mark Titus Joins the Show
Our good friend Mark Titus joined the program to help make sense of the carnage and defend himself against the Calipari family, who apparently wants his head on a pike. Titus didn't hold back on the state of the blue bloods, suggesting that for guys like Coach K and Calipari, the actual basketball might be secondary to the marketing machine.
Mark TitusCoach K and John Calipari are more focused on building their brands than winning basketball games.
Cal and Coach K are not playing the same game as everyone else. They're not trying to win basketball games. They're trying to win their brand. They're trying to build their brands and keep the machine just churning. And they don't want anyone to notice.
He went even further on Coach K, suggesting that the legendary coach might be reaching a point where the game is moving faster than he is. Titus was baffled by how a Duke team with three top-ten picks actually seemed to get worse as the season progressed.
Mark TitusCoach K has entered the 'Paterno phase' of his career where he is no longer actually coaching.
First of all, can we just acknowledge that [Coach K] has entered the Paterno phase of his career where he's just trying not to shit his pants as the game's going on. He's not actually coaching. That's the thing. This season was such a disaster from Duke... How do you have a team full of freshmen get worse as the season goes on?
Naturally, the conversation turned to Zion’s physique. Big Cat reiterated his famous stance that Zion is a genetic marvel who is also playing a dangerous game with his diet.
Big CatZion Williamson is 'one bad weekend away' from being fat.
Zion Williamson, the best way to describe him is, as a bigger guy myself, he's one bad weekend away from being fat. Like, if I go one weekend where I just eat like shit, drink like shit, don't sleep very well, I'll come in Monday morning and everyone will be like, whoa, dude, what happened to you? And it can happen that fast.
Final Four Outlook and LeBron Blames
Looking ahead to Minneapolis, Titus thinks the casual fan is sleeping on just how good this field actually is. While there's no Zion, he argues that Texas Tech might actually be the most complete team left standing.
Mark TitusTexas Tech might be the best team in the country right now.
Texas Tech might honestly be the best team in the country right now. They just beat Gonzaga, who I thought was kind of the best team in the country, and they beat them pretty, like, it didn't feel like a fluke. It felt like Gonzaga played really well in that game, and Texas Tech was just better.
However, he warned Virginia fans that their nightmare might just be beginning. After surviving a miracle against Purdue, the Cavaliers now have to face an Auburn team that plays the exact style of basketball that usually gives Tony Bennett’s defense fits.
Mark TitusAuburn is a nightmare matchup for Virginia because they play fast and shoot a high volume of threes.
Auburn is a nightmare matchup for Virginia in the sense that they play fast and shoot a ton of threes... That's always been Virginia's kryptonite, is teams that just bomb threes on them. So, I don't know. Auburn might be all right.
We wrapped up with some LeBron Blames as the King officially shut it down for the season. The Lakers are a disaster, and PFT is already looking forward to a summer where the purple and gold struggle to find anyone willing to jump into the fire.
PFT CommenterI can see a scenario where the Lakers fail to sign a single big-name free agent this offseason.
I could see a scenario where they don't sign a single big-name free agent this offseason. I really can't.
Between PFT potentially flying to Hong Kong for 12 hours just to watch rugby and Big Cat's looming commitment to eat PFT's ass if Christian Yelich wins the Home Run Derby, the summer is shaping up to be absolutely unhinged.
At least someone is having a good April Fool's Day, unlike the cats Hank refuses to save.
