Michael Rapaport

85% of The Ringer's basketball podcasters are 'hipsters' who rely too much on stats

85% of the people that are on the Ringer podcast discussing basketball, they're hipsters. In terms of the stat, stat, stat... I want an eye test. I don't want geometry. Can you play or can you not play?

LeBron James will never be as good as Michael Jordan

23 reasons why LeBron James will never be like Mike... Caitlyn Jenner. Another topic we need more on. LeVar [Ball] can't ball is a good one.

Bill Simmons' HBO show was 'trash' from the first interview

I did his HBO show, which I knew was trash. I knew which we all knew was trash from the first interview from the first person... I knew that when I watched the Simmons thing, everybody knew, because there was so much anticipation and hype, and because he left ESPN, you knew... yo, this is in deep shit.

Tobey Maguire is the worst basketball player I've ever seen

The worst basketball player I've ever seen is Tobey Maguire. That motherfucker. Stick to the poker tables, you nerd.

Blake Bortles is a disappointment and won't be starting for the Jaguars by Week 8.

Blake Bortles is a fucking fantasy football and real life fantasy and real life football disappointment. ... He's not going to be starting by week eight. I predict week eight. No injury. Bye-bye.

LeBron James is definitely going to the Lakers next year.

[Big Cat]: Where do you think [LeBron] is going? [PFT Commenter]: LA. [Michael Rapaport]: If you're a little pussy-ass bitch, you go to LA. ... Lakers. It's already set up.

James Harden and Chris Paul will not be able to get along on the Rockets because there is only one ball.

There's only one ball. No, only one ball. Only one ball. It's not going to work. No. No, only one ball. They're not winning shit. No. Houston ain't winning shit.

Blake Griffin is funny for a basketball player, but he's not a better podcast guest than me

I'll tell Blake to his face, you're funny for a basketball player, but you're not a better guest than me... I'll tell Blake to his face, you're funny for a basketball player, but you're not a better guest than me.

Mike Brady is a beta male for raising kids that aren't his

Mike Brady [is] raising somebody else's kids. He's got to pay for all their education and their trips to Disney World. Those weren't even his kids. He's not a real man. He's a beta male. He's stuck paying for an alpha male's problem.

Alan Thicke is a top-four sitcom dad because he launched Leonardo DiCaprio's career

My fourth and final pick: The late, great Alan Thicke, Growing Pains. Iconic, launched the career of the biggest movie star and the consummate stick man, Leonardo DiCaprio. Alan Thicke rounds off my top four of sitcom dads.

LeBron James ruined the competitiveness of the NBA and deserves to be swept

This fucking guy created this big three bullshit, this AAU friends and family banana boat in the summer bullshit. He started this shit. And now they created a big four... I hope they fucking swept. And then the nail will be in the fucking coffin. You're not like Mike. You're never going to be like fucking Mike.

Five Kurt Rambises with LeBron's brain would beat five Kurt Rambises with Michael Jordan's brain

Because it's slower and LeBron clearly has the size advantage... I just ran the numbers on my calculator, and I am going with LeBron on this. [Five Kurt Rambises with LeBron's brain versus five with MJ's brain]

Team LeBron/Ty Lue would beat Team MJ/Steve Kerr in a hypothetical 3v3 because Steve Kerr's back is too hurt to play

MJ with Steve Kerr when he was a player and Steve Kerr when he's a coach. ... Steve Kerr can't walk... MJ might punch him in the face, too. ... With the Steve Kerr injury, I will have to go reluctantly with the LeBron-Ty Lue team.

Draymond Green did not actually kick LeBron James in the groin in the 2016 Finals

No, that didn't happen... I'm saying that LeBron James had no idea that he even hit the fabric when that happened, and not until he went to the locker room and he saw the videotape, and then he became LeBron Blames... The dick kick didn't happen.

The Starters on NBA TV are sports hipsters

I don't like to shit on other people's quality of their work. But they have a show, and it's actually good. It's very stat-oriented... but like the Starters on the NBA network. They are hipsters. They're sports hipsters.

You cannot be a serious basketball analyst if you never played the game

I just want to ask these fucking nerds. Like, did you ever play? ... If you are a basketball dude and you never played basketball, even in your heart of hearts, and you took it seriously, it's hard for me to take you seriously. Because anybody could play basketball, really, until any age.

I support all protests except kneeling on 9/11

I have no problem with anybody protesting. I have no problem with what the guys on the Patriots did. And, you know, raising a fist on 9-11. I specifically was talking about kneeling on 9-11. I specifically was talking about that... And then Arian Foster said, he has a right to protest and you have a right to protest my protest.

An hour and 45 minute wait for pizza is rude and unacceptable

You got to be fucking batshit crazy. If you're from anywhere to wait for anything for an hour and 45 minutes... I don't care what's in there. An hour and 45 minutes is rude for anything. I'm not going to an NSYNC concert. I want a slice of pizza.

I will clean out the whole block of stray cats

Those fuckers didn't die. Did you get the other ones? I'm going to clean the whole fucking block out when I'm done with these bastards. There was three out there this morning. I'll send you some video of dead cats tonight.

All roads in the NBA super team era lead back to LeBron James

All roads lead to LeBron James with this super team friends and family shit. Just know that. There's always a way back to LeBron James. He started this shit and now it's corroding and polluting the NBA.

Carmelo Anthony winning gold medals means nothing because the USA should beat China by 90

I think it's fantastic that Melo is winning another gold medal. It means jack shit to me. Like, they're down there winning those games if it's a big deal. Like, you're supposed to beat China by 94. I'm not impressed that you did a 360 dunk on a 6'3 Asian basketball player.

NBA players are garbage for dunking on kids at summer camps for social media

Why do these players keep shitting all over these little guys that play $2,500 to go up to their camp and they dunk on them, they humiliate them, and then they post it all over Snapchat? All of them. It's out of control.

The New York Giants will finish the 2016 season 10-6

Giants record for the year... Ten and six.

The Cavaliers were the better team in the 2016 NBA Finals

Listen, the better team won. ... I talk shit about LeBron, but I never talk about him as a player. He's a fucking beast. They played great. ... and the game seven lived up to all the hype.

Draymond Green's dirty play and antics are deliberately on purpose and I appreciate it

I, for one, appreciate a dirty player... game recognizes game. That dick kick was totally on purpose. All the antics are on purpose. And I have no problem with it. I think there should be more of that.

LeBron James will never surpass Michael Jordan because he has lost in the Finals

I think his – the fact that he lost titles, he's already not going to surpass Jordan, because he never lost. He never lost a title.

The Knicks should sign Joakim Noah because he still has more in the tank

I feel like there's more in the tank for [Joakim Noah]. I feel like he's been injured and I just feel like he's such a team dude and a character dude and the energy... if he came to New York that would be big for New York.

Warriors in 7 over the Cavaliers

Warriors in 7. In a heartbreaker in Oracle Arena. It's going to be a heartbreaker.

LeBron James is held back by a tiny percentage of people-pleasing that Jordan and Kobe didn't have

I think that he's a people pleaser. And I think that's the difference between him, when we talk about Jordan, him and Jordan, and him and Kobe... Kobe and Jordan, of course, he wasn't no people pleaser. He didn't give a fuck... I just think there's like a little tiny percentage of people pleasing that's in [LeBron] that has screwed him up.

The 'Rock N Jock' era celebrities would beat current ESPN Celebrity All-Stars

The old rock and jock days of the 90s, the MTV rock and jock days, we would definitely, if you took the best players from then, we would definitely be able to compete with the ESPN celebrity all-star game guys for sure. No doubt. There's not a lot of ball movement with the ESPN guys. It's a very self-centric game.

LeBron James is the first player I would pick to start a team today

If you're starting a team today... the first person I'd pick right now would still be LeBron James.

Steph Curry is easy to love but I understand why people want to start hating him

[Steph Curry] is everything right in terms of... but he's not trying to be everything right. I think he's just a genuinely nice guy and a chill dude... but if you want that [hate] bandwagon I understand.

I only became a Kobe Bryant fan after he became an underdog during his legal scandal

I came back around to Kobe when he became the bad guy and he became the underdog... when the shit hit the fan with him, I wanted to see... [Post-sexual assault] I became a fan of Kobe. That's just like a weird thing with me.