PMT DB
PMT DB
July 4th Special: Blake Bortles, Bo Pelini, and Joey Chestnut
Big Cat and PFT are handing over a massive amount of responsibility for this special two-hour July 4th extravaganza. Since the guys are taking a rare few days off to celebrate America's birthday, they’ve left us with enough interviews and takes to power a small village through the holiday weekend. We’ve got everything from boat activities with the coolest guy in the NFL to the science of hot dog buns.
NBA Free Agency Predictions
Before getting into the holiday spirit, Coley Mick joined Big Cat and PFT to look ahead at the impending chaos of NBA free agency. While Coley brought actual expertise from Mixtape, Big Cat was busy connecting dots through high-end real estate listings in the tri-state area.
Big CatJJ Redick will sign with the Philadelphia 76ers
My first prediction, J.J. Redick is going to sign with the Philadelphia 76ers. [He] bought a condo in Brooklyn, and we're connecting dots. We're getting into the realtor information.
Big Cat also has a theory that the Bulls are going to lean into their tradition of signing players right before their bodies completely fail them.
Big CatThe Bulls will sign Andre Iguodala to a massive contract that will immediately backfire
I predict that Andre Iguodala is going to go to the Chicago Bulls for seven years and $300 billion because his knees are just about to blow up... He's going to play 20 games a season for the next four years, and everyone's going to be like, oh, why are the Bulls not able to sign big guys?
PFT stuck to the narrative-driven moves, particularly regarding the Rivers family staying together at all costs.
PFT CommenterAustin Rivers will sign with whatever team his father, Doc Rivers, is coaching
Austin Rivers, he's going to go wherever his dad goes. So they're a package deal kind of. I'm going out on a limb there I know, but that's kind of what I'm thinking.
The Blake Bortles Wikipedia Club
Our good friend Blake Bortles hopped on for a special Independence Day edition of the Wikipedia Club. After skimming the entry for July 4th for approximately thirty seconds, Big Cat stumbled upon a historical fact that suggests we’ve all been celebrating on the wrong day.
Big CatIf you are a true American, you should celebrate Independence Day on July 2nd
The United States actually legally declared independence on July 2nd. So that's really – if you're really American, you should be celebrating on July 2nd.
PFT took the historical analysis a step further, questioning the literacy rates of the Founding Fathers and the authenticity of the signatures on the Declaration of Independence.
PFT CommenterThomas Jefferson forged signatures on the Declaration of Independence to look cool
I'm a big 7-4 truther because I don't think that all these guys actually signed the Declaration of Independence because only a few people could actually write back then. And all the handwriting looks very similar to me. I'm thinking that a lot of the signatures were actually forged by Thomas Jefferson just so that it would look like he had a bunch of people that supported his cause so he'd look cool.
While discussing the revolutionary era, the conversation naturally shifted to the current state of Philadelphia. Big Cat pointed out that despite the advancements in modern sanitation, the city has somehow regressed since the 1700s.
Big CatPhiladelphia is the only city in the world that smells worse now than it did when people defecated in the streets
Philadelphia is actually somehow the only city in the world that has gotten increasingly worse smelling even though everyone used to shit in the street and wear wool in the middle of August. That's a fact.
Wrapping up with Blake, we did a Mount Rushmore of boat activities. Blake is a Florida man through and through, which means he's spent more time on the water than on dry land. PFT shared his wisdom on the financial realities of maritime fun.
PFT CommenterThe best way to enjoy a boat is to have a close friend who owns one rather than owning it yourself
My number three is having a friend with a boat but not actually owning one yourself. So you never want to be the guy with the boat. You want to be the guy that's got a good friend. They'll take you out, and if you throw them some fuel money, you're good.
Big Cat's ideal day on the lake involves a specific level of lethargy and a life jacket that doubles as a floating koozie.
Big CatThe best way to enjoy a lake is to float in the middle with a life jacket and five beers
I like to just put on a life jacket and just sit in the middle of the lake and just drink beers, drink like five beers while I pee and just do nothing else. So you just sit there. It's great. You get all your friends just sitting there doing nothing.
Hot Dogs and Angry Coaches
Joey Chestnut joined the show to discuss his preparation for the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. While most people see it as a novelty, Joey treats it like a blood sport. Big Cat, having competed in the contest himself, was all-in on Joey's greatness.
Big CatI guarantee Joey Chestnut will win the 2017 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest
Joey Chestnut. He is competing in the hot dog eating competition like he does every year. He's going to win. We can guarantee. He actually guaranteed it in the interview.
Joey shared some insider info on why the competition has changed recently, specifically blaming the downfall of a major bread company for making the buns more difficult to navigate.
Joey ChestnutHot dog buns are significantly harder to eat since Wonder Bread went out of business
I did notice when Wonder Bread went out of business years ago, and then the buns changed a little bit. They seemed to get harder, but then eventually they found another company that were similar specs.
He also addressed the age-old question of whether a human can out-eat nature's most efficient predators. Joey isn't just confident; he's ready to take on the animal kingdom.
Joey ChestnutI could beat a grizzly bear in a hot dog eating competition
Michael Phelps is racing against a great white shark. Can Joey Chestnut beat a grizzly bear in a hot dog eating competition? [Joey Chestnut]: Yeah, I could do it... I think I have the capacity to do it. I think the bear would start to wonder what's going on.
Later, Bo Pelini sat down in the back of Vanny Woodhead for a Mount Rushmore of fiery coaches. Bo was adamant that he isn't an angry guy, he's just "bipolar" and hates most people. He did, however, have high praise for two of the GOATs.
Bo PeliniMike Krzyzewski and Bill Belichick are the two best coaches of this generation in any sport
Would you guys agree that in any sport, take all the major sports, is there a better coach in our generation than Coach K? Belichick, Krzyzewski. I don't know if you get any better than that.
Big Cat couldn't help but mention the sheer intensity of the guy leading the Alabama program, noting that his baseline is essentially a permanent state of fury.
Big CatNick Saban's resting heart rate is just 'angry'
Nick Saban, because Nick Saban, he's like a volcano that only erupts every now and then. But when it does, and Nick Saban, you get the added bonus where he yells at his coaches... His resting heart rate is angry.
Wrapping Up the Fourth
Michael Rapaport stopped by to remind us that he is a superior guest to anyone else who has ever stepped foot in the studio. He’s officially a Barstool colleague now, but he’s still not ready to give Blake Griffin any credit for his comedic timing.
Michael RapaportBlake Griffin is funny for a basketball player, but he's not a better podcast guest than me
I'll tell Blake to his face, you're funny for a basketball player, but you're not a better guest than me... I'll tell Blake to his face, you're funny for a basketball player, but you're not a better guest than me.
Finally, Uncle Chaps joined for a more grounded conversation about the holiday, fireworks safety for veterans, and the perpetual misery of being a Jaguars fan. Chaps is lowering his expectations to the floor for the upcoming season.
Uncle ChapsI will be happy if the Jacksonville Jaguars manage to win just two games this season
For the last eight years, I've thought that this is our year, like that we're going to be better. That's really so stupid. I'm just going to be like, if we win two games, then I'm happy. Everything else is icing on the cake after two.
It’s a bleak outlook, but when your franchise has literally never been bad enough to be the absolute worst, you start begging for the bottom to just fall out already.
Uncle ChapsThe Jaguars have never had the #1 overall pick in franchise history
They've never, ever been the worst team in the league by record... [if they get only two wins] there's a good chance they'll have the number one overall pick, which will be the first time in Jaguars history that they have the number one overall pick.
Enjoy the hot dogs, stay safe with the fireworks, and remember that if you're on a boat, the beer always tastes better if it's tossed to you from at least five feet away.
