Takes

Big game hunting and winter survival should be added as Winter Olympic sports

I do agree with big game hunting [as an Olympic sport], that would rock dudes. It's like you go out in the wilderness and then you just have to weigh like, how much bear did you come back with? The Olympic sport of just watching dudes in the middle of the woods who can start a fire faster. I'd watch that.

Michael Jordan winning the Daytona 500 proves he is better than LeBron James

Michael Jordan won the Daytona 500. I don't know what you're talking about... LeBron has not done that.

The skeleton is a joke of a sport that anyone could do with three years of training

The skeleton is a joke. [Max: I think that's actually like proven fact that the average amount of person to take, they have three years experience.] When I watch the Best Loser win by a fraction of a second, I'm like, well that guy just decided to do luge. 99.9% of the world just doesn't do luge.

Fencing should be moved to the Winter Olympics

Why is fencing a summer Olympic sport? I don't know... [Big Cat: Gymnastics is also inside.] Fencing [should be moved].

The Pacific Time Zone is the worst time zone for sports

I hate Pacific Time zone. It sucks. Everything's just two nights in a row. ... I've pulled up like we have long days and I, I like, I'll pull up the Cubs game being like, I'm gonna watch the Cubs game in my hotel room. And they're just like, oh, they're down eight. Nothing. It's the eighth inning.

The human body has a physical limit and the 100-meter dash world record will eventually plateau

At some point, I've always wondered this about a hundred meter dash, like when is it gonna be the fastest that you'll ever run? Because like the human body can only go so fast.

Noah Lyles' 100m gold medal win officially puts him on the Mount Rushmore of track and field

Noah Lyles... won the 100 meters... I'm envisioning myself returning home as a gold medalist and that puts me on Mount Rushmore.

The 4x100m relay is the one Olympic event Team USA should always dominate

I feel like for as long as I've been an adult person watching the Olympics, we always dominate the four by 100... that's our thing, that we should dominate that. It's sad to see [the loss].

Having Rafael Nadal carry the Olympic torch in Paris was 'cucked' behavior by France

Maybe the most cucked behavior that I've ever seen to have one of your country's rivals [Rafael Nadal] as like a prominent figure at the very end. I guess because he is like, always wins the French Open. He just wins the French Open... He is kind of like part of French history.

The US Women's Rugby team could win gold because of Ilona Maher

I think that the US Women's Rugby could win the gold medal because they've got Ilona Maher who, she had two all time truck stick runs. She's like Lady Rob Gronkowski. She's fucking awesome. And she a tank running people over.

After Reggie Bush's Heisman return, we must campaign for Barry Bonds, Pete Rose, and Rick Pitino to have their honors restored

We need to now focus all of our energy because... it's like a dog chasing a car. You catch it and you're like, what do we do now? Barry Bonds Hall of Fame. ... Pete Rose Hall of Fame. ... Rick Pitino Louisville Banner back up. ... Armando Galarraga, gotta get his perfect game. ... We can do anything with mob mentality.

We need less regular season and more playoffs in all sports

Do you know what we need less of? Is the regular season? We need more playoffs in all things. Playoffs aren't the best... Every league is expanding. And I get the argument like, you know, the making the playoffs means less, you're gonna have bad teams, but then when you start the playoffs, there's just more playoffs. And that fucking rules.

The USA Rugby team will challenge New Zealand and the match will end in a draw

I think USA rugby is going to challenge, man. It's going to be a draw. They're going to rise up to the occasion.

Miami, Anaheim, and Arlington are not 'we' towns for sports fans

I would say like Miami, probably not a we town. Yeah, right. Maybe Anaheim. Anaheim, not a we town. Arlington, Texas. Yeah, not a we town.

The Waterdogs will lose both of their games this weekend against Chaos and Chrome

Today, Chaos versus Water Dogs. L for us. ...And then on Sunday, the Waterdogs take another L to the Chrome. NBC Sports Network, 1 p.m. Eastern.

Urban Meyer and LeBron James are the same person

Urban Meyer and LeBron were the same person. I was like, I'm going to use this to get what I need out of it. I'm going to use the state of Ohio. And then once I get what I need, I'm gone, and that's that. And I saw through it.

Ronald Acuna Jr. and Luka Doncic are the faces of baseball and basketball

Ronald Acuna and Luka Doncic, are they both the faces of their respective sports? ... they both have a young crop of superstars. He [Acuna] needs to take over the league.

World Chase Tag is ten times better than Olympic handball.

This sport, this tag sport [World Chase Tag], is ten times the sport of handball. Ten times.

I will beat PFT Commenter in ping pong by at least nine points in every game of our series

I'm better than [PFT Commenter] when I'm wearing glass and he's not... I'm going to be going to beat you by nine points... nine wait in how many games? Each game. I will be home by 9:00 all games.

I should fire the Water Dogs coach for that second-half collapse against the Atlas

I think we should fire our coach [Andy Copeland] just straight up. You can't have a loss like that. It's what, two goals in the last 18 minutes? We took our foot off the gas. It's unacceptable. He should be on the hot seat.

Rolling a 200 with two light beers and smokers around in a bowling alley is harder than rolling a 300 sober.

I would also say that rolling a 200 if you've had two light beers and you're around a bunch of people smoking cigarettes in a bowling alley is harder than rolling a 300 sober.

Lacrosse is legitimate tribal warfare

Lacrosse is sick, like everyone is looking at Lacrosse wrong, like Lacrosse is just like legitimately trying Tribal Warfare in the mud... Tribal Warfare is back in form of Lacrosse.

MLB and NBA will both return in July 2020

I have a prediction that we will have baseball and basketball in the month of July.

NBA and MLB return plans for 2020 sound completely fictitious

I do not feel they're coming back. I think that the ideas that are being thrown around sound like they're just pitches... that MLB story today about a hundred games or whatever all in conference three home stadiums, that sounds like the most fictitious, it sounds like what happens after a bombing in 24.

The Waterdogs will have a stadium built exclusively with taxpayer money

I'd like to do a census, some type of study to figure out where we could build a stadium exclusively with the taxpayer's money. I don't want to pay anything for my new stadium. Let's find out... figure out what location in America the voters are dumb enough that they'll just give us a lacrosse stadium.

I will bet on the Waterdogs and the over in every Waterdogs game

I want to be able to bet on the dogs and the over in dogs games. [Paul Rabil] says as long as we don't short our teams, we can wet our beak elsewhere.

The NFL should legalize marijuana for players to help with trauma and pain

I think I definitely guarantee contracts and maybe something with the marijuana issues... because I feel like a lot of guys... have had certain traumas in their life that maybe prescription meds doesn't do the thing for them.

Mike Krzyzewski and Bill Belichick are the two best coaches of this generation in any sport

Would you guys agree that in any sport, take all the major sports, is there a better coach in our generation than Coach K? Belichick, Krzyzewski. I don't know if you get any better than that.

Michael Phelps will come out of retirement to swim in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics

Michael Phelps, Tokyo. He's swimming, right? Yes. Oh, there we go. You know what? I've said this before in 2012. I said he announced his retirement. He wasn't going to come back. And I was like, you're going to come back. Come on. And guess what he did? He came back. Same thing. He's going to do it.

Game 7 of the 2016 World Series was the most pressurized event in human history

Jason [Whitlock] was coming for the crown... He said, 'Game seven was the most pressurized event, perhaps, in human history.' So thoughts and prayers to the Civil War. D-Day. Maybe if Theo [Epstein] had been working for the South, we'd all be speaking Cajun right now.

Rugby sold out Soldier Field before lacrosse did

Rugby actually sold out Soldier Field before lacrosse did. So just a little check on your predictions.

The number one lie in sports is a coach claiming they aren't interviewing for other jobs

Number one [lie] is every time any coach anywhere says they're happy with their job and they're not interviewing. That's number one lie in all sports.

The Ryan Lochte robbery story in Rio was blown out of proportion.

I think some of it was blown out of proportion, but I'm glad I wasn't with him and got robbed.

The five-year Hall of Fame wait rule is good because it humbles players

I love the five-year rule because it gives players time to taste what it's like to be kind of irrelevant, put on a little bit of weight, and then they show up at their Hall of Fame induction ceremony, and they're humbled a little bit. They've gained a few pounds in the cheek, neck area, so they're more accessible to the fans.

Cleveland is the 'new Boston' full of pink-hat bandwagon fans

Population of Cleveland, 390,000. So, you know what that tells me? That tells me that Cleveland is like the new Boston Red Sox. Pink hat wearers. Bandwagoners. Bandwagon fans. Cleveland's the new it town to go to. ... I'm done with Cleveland.

Athletes should take more PEDs because fans want to see more power and scoring

I say please take more PEDs. Why not? We want athletes to actually crank the ball out. Who wants a 1-0 game? I don't. So our stance on that is use it, don't abuse it.