Sam Darnold is a top five quarterback in the NFL

Sam Darnold. Good guy. Elite quarterback elite. Elite, elite. Top five. [Big Cat: Gimme your top five.] Drake Maye. Sam Darnold. Josh Allen, Caleb Williams, Jayden Daniels.

Triple Double Cocaine Bear is the greatest nickname in sports history

The best part, in my opinion, was the nickname that [Kevin Durant] gave to Westbrook. Called him Triple Double Cocaine Bear, which is the best nickname that I've ever heard.

NBA owners should be forced to sell their team if they win fewer than 20 games for three straight years

What they need to do for all sports is if you don't reach a certain level of win percentage in consecutive years, you have to sell the team. Which that would be awesome too. If you win less than 20 games in the NBA for three years straight, you should have to sell the team.

The goal allowed by the US goalie was the most embarrassing possible

What about the goalie? Yeah, I mean he... that was the most embarrassing goal that I've ever seen. Possible.

The USMNT is the 'James Franklin Penn State' of soccer

People were making very mean jokes online that we were James Franklin, Penn State. And it is actually perfectly appropriate because if you look at who we played, we beat the teams we're supposed to beat... and then we absolutely got ass fucked by the team that was better than us in Belgium. We are not who we thought we were.

We just suck at soccer as a country and that's okay

My take is we suck at soccer and that's okay. Like, I don't care that we suck at soccer anymore. I'm going to root for the US team. I'm gonna get excited when we're in a World Cup. I'm gonna get hyped up and it's gonna be fun to watch. And then I'm gonna be reminded that we suck at soccer and that it's just gonna be like, okay, yeah, that's okay.