PMT DB
PMT DB
Jensen Karp on Hollywood, WWE Writing, and Andy Dalton's Goodbye
April is finally in the rearview mirror and Big Cat and PFT are ready to power into May. The big news of the week started with Jameis Winston finally getting LASIK surgery. After five years of throwing picks into triple coverage, it turns out Jameis literally couldn't read street signs or license plates. While some might think clear vision is a plus for a quarterback, Big Cat is worried it might actually ruin the most entertaining player in the league.
Big CatJameis Winston's LASIK surgery might turn him into 'Captain Checkdown'
What if [Jameis Winston] is able to see those cornerbacks and he becomes Captain check down and he's like, I can't believe I used to make those throw[s]... his eyes are going to be seeing ghosts and it's going to affect his personality like any wild way.
Speaking of quarterbacks moving on, the Andy Dalton era in Cincinnati has officially ended. The guys took some time to appreciate the greatest ginger athlete of our generation. While the Bengals are moving on to Joe Burrow, the Red Rocket needs a new home, and the destination seems obvious for a guy who loves to make a tackle after throwing an interception.
Big CatThe Patriots would be a good landing spot for Andy Dalton
Andy Dalton, I would take a chance on it. Patriots might [be], it seems like a good landing spot for him. I'd be fine with him.
This sparked a heated debate about where Dalton ranks among the greats. PFT put his reputation on the line by comparing the former Bengals signal-caller to a certain Eagles franchise quarterback who already has a ring.
PFT CommenterAndy Dalton has had a better NFL career than Carson Wentz
Andy Dalton if the season ended today for both their careers Andy Dalton had a better career than Carson Wentz... His highs were better than Andy Dalton's [but] you can't put Carson ahead [of] Andy.
Fyre Fest and The Scouting of Kate Upton
Fyre Fest of the Week featured Hank getting absolutely bullied by the Twitch chat into buying a gaming monitor, only to realize he doesn't want to leave the comfort of his controller for a keyboard and mouse. Big Cat stood in solidarity with the thumb-stick community.
Big CatVideo games should only be played with a controller, regardless of PC or Console
I play video games with a controller. Like I'll never play video games... [without a controller]. Video games we play with a controller. Yes. I don't want to hear anything different.
But the real winner of the segment was Darren Rovell. The business of sports insider posted a massive "throwback" to the time he took Kate Upton to the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Big Cat pointed out that the post was Rovell’s ultimate way of telling the world he’s the best talent scout in history.
Big CatDarren Rovell's Kate Upton story is actually a flex on his 'talent scouting' ability
Darren Ravel posting this literally has nothing to do with him wanting to have sex with Kate Upton. It's just him trying to flex on everybody and being like I I recognize that this woman was going to be very attractive... I have a great eye for talent.
Jensen Karp’s Hollywood Life
Jensen Karp joined the show to discuss one of the most eclectic resumes we've ever seen: rapper, art dealer, and the man who married Topanga from Boy Meets World. Jensen broke down what it’s like to be signed by Jimmy Iovine and then pivot to owning a pop-culture art gallery. He also gave us a glimpse into the bizarre world of writing for the WWE in the mid-2000s, which included flying on private jets with Vince McMahon.
Writing for Vince is a high-stakes game where even your natural bodily functions can get you on the boss's bad side. Jensen confirmed the legend that Vince simply does not acknowledge human frailty.
Big CatVince McMahon views sneezing, yawning, or sleeping as signs of weakness
Vince McMahon doesn't like it when somebody loses control of their own body around whether it's sneezing, yawning, sleepiness. You name it, it's weakness.
As a sports fan living through the pandemic, Jensen was a bit more skeptical than Big Cat and PFT about when we’ll actually see the NBA and MLB return to action.
PFT CommenterNBA and MLB return plans for 2020 sound completely fictitious
I do not feel they're coming back. I think that the ideas that are being thrown around sound like they're just pitches... that MLB story today about a hundred games or whatever all in conference three home stadiums, that sounds like the most fictitious, it sounds like what happens after a bombing in 24.
Big Cat, however, thinks the timeline is simple. It all comes down to the league that truly does not give a damn about the health and safety of its employees.
Big CatSports will only return once the NFL restarts because they don't care about player safety
I think we're fucked until the NFL season starts because if there's one thing that we know is sports fans the NFL doesn't really care about player safety. So I think he'll come back and then everyone will follow suit.
Embrace Debate and High Thoughts
Before getting to the Mount Rushmore, the guys had to address a local radio host's take that Michael Jordan has somehow become a "loser" because he likes to gamble and his NBA team struggles. Big Cat wasn't having any of it.
Big CatMichael Jordan is not a loser and is the definition of the word 'winner'
I say absolutely not [to MJ being a loser]. I think it's safe to say that Michael Jordan is not a loser. He is the definition of the word winner. He's synonymous with winner more probably than any athlete maybe besides Tiger Woods.
To wrap up the week, we entered the mindset of someone who may or may not be under the influence for the Mount Rushmore of things we think about when we're high. PFT went deep on the marvels of modern infrastructure that we usually take for granted.
PFT CommenterEngineering is crazy and we just blindly accept it
Engineering is fucking crazy man like it's so crazy and we just accepted all buildings, bridges. It's so crazy and those whose minds are so advanced and their job is to just put stuff together till it gets huge tunnels.
Big Cat shifted the focus to the animal kingdom, questioning if our pets are actually just incredibly disciplined spies who know exactly what we're saying at all times.
Big CatAnimals likely understand everything we say but are collectively choosing to ignore us
What if all the animals actually understood what we were saying but just just ignoring us... like the minute they figure out that we know shit's gonna get crazy and they can't talk back.
Finally, we looked at the "Life Stats" we wish we could track, ranging from the location of every hoodie we've ever lost to the aggregate number of mundane tasks we've completed since birth.
Big CatThere should be a statistical database for 'Life Stats' like how many shoes you've tied
There should be a statistical database that can tell me the answers to things like how many times have I tied my shoes in my life? I would love to know that data... How many steps do you think you've taken?
If the animals really are listening, they probably think we're idiots for spending twenty minutes wondering where a sweatshirt from 2005 went.
