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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Engineering is crazy and we just blindly accept it

Engineering is fucking crazy man like it's so crazy and we just accepted all buildings, bridges. It's so crazy and those whose minds are so advanced and their job is to just put stuff together till it gets huge tunnels.

Subjective appreciation of engineering complexity.

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Push
May 1, 2020·News
#4122
Big CatBig Cat

Jameis Winston's LASIK surgery might turn him into 'Captain Checkdown'

What if [Jameis Winston] is able to see those cornerbacks and he becomes Captain check down and he's like, I can't believe I used to make those throw[s]... his eyes are going to be seeing ghosts and it's going to affect his personality like any wild way.

Winston did become slightly more careful with the ball in New Orleans before his ACL injury (14 TDs to 3 INTs in 2021), but he remained a high-risk, high-reward passer rather than a checkdown specialist.
Loss
May 1, 2020·News
#4124
Big CatBig Cat

The Patriots would be a good landing spot for Andy Dalton

Andy Dalton, I would take a chance on it. Patriots might [be], it seems like a good landing spot for him. I'd be fine with him.

Dalton signed with the Cowboys on May 2nd, 2020, the day after this episode aired.
Win
May 1, 2020·News
#4123
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Andy Dalton has had a better NFL career than Carson Wentz

Andy Dalton if the season ended today for both their careers Andy Dalton had a better career than Carson Wentz... His highs were better than Andy Dalton's [but] you can't put Carson ahead [of] Andy.

Statistically, Dalton finished with over 38,000 passing yards and 255 TDs compared to Wentz's ~22,000 yards and 153 TDs. While Wentz had a higher peak, Dalton's career longevity supports this opinion.

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PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

Garrett Bolles should catch a pass before he retires

I want to be able to bet on Garrett Bolles to have one reception in every game. Because I feel like Sean Payton is going to try to get him that touch. He definitely will because he doesn't want him to retire as the guy who never touched the ball.

It requires Garrett Bolles to record a touch before the end of his career; that has not been resolved here.
Open
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Eagles' offense might be better without A.J. Brown

I actually think that the offense might be better without A.J. Brown.

Whether Philadelphia's offense performs better without A.J. Brown is a season-level comparative claim and is not reliably resolved here.
Void
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Chargers should eliminate their kicking game and go for it every time

The Chargers should just not have a punter. They should not have a kicker. They shouldn't even have like a long snapper on the team. Use those positions on somebody else and you're just—burn the boats. You're just going for it all the time. Fuck it. Who cares? Right? Season's over. Might as well try to score some points.

This is a deliberately satirical roster-building proposal, not a prediction that can be objectively graded.