PMT DB
PMT DB
NBA with Kirk Goldsberry, Mr. Portnoy on the Brain, and 12-Team CFB Playoffs
It’s a two-for-Friday episode as the guys catch up on a chaotic NBA playoff slate and look ahead to a massive shift in the college football landscape. The Waterdogs are back in action this weekend, though Big Cat and PFT are already bracing for impact as the owners of what might be the worst professional sports team ever assembled.
Big CatThe Waterdogs will lose both of their games this weekend against Chaos and Chrome
Today, Chaos versus Water Dogs. L for us. ...And then on Sunday, the Waterdogs take another L to the Chrome. NBC Sports Network, 1 p.m. Eastern.
After mourning the Bruins' exit from the NHL playoffs, Hank tries to cope by looking at what could have been if the roster wasn't held together by duct tape and prayers.
HankThe Bruins would have won their series against the Islanders if Tuukka Rask was fully healthy
I think [Tuukka Rask] was hurt, and I think if he was full health, they probably would have won that series.
The Rodgers Watch and 12-Team Chaos
With Aaron Rodgers still playing cat-and-mouse with the Packers, PFT has a theory that doesn't involve the Broncos or a retirement to the Jeopardy set. He envisions a world where Rodgers simply vanishes into thin air with Shailene Woodley to live a more "authentic" life.
PFT CommenterAaron Rodgers might move to Ecuador and go off the grid entirely
I think there's something telling me that [Rodgers] might just go off the grid entirely. Like Aaron Rodgers might just not show up on a football field ever again. He might move to Ecuador and go live out in the rainforest with Shailene Woodley.
Switching to college football, the news of a proposed 12-team playoff has the sport in a frenzy. While purists are complaining about potential blowouts, Big Cat is leaning into the chaos. He argues that the new format actually saves the regular season by keeping more teams in the hunt until late November.
Big CatA 12-team playoff will make the college football regular season matter more
The regular season, people will say, oh, the regular season doesn't matter as much. No, I think the regular season matters more because it used to be if you have one game that you lose, you're out. Now the game's at the end of the season. Teams jockeying for those conference title games, for higher seating. It all matters.
Kirk Goldsberry on the NBA Super Team
ESPN’s Kirk Goldsberry joins the show to talk about the Brooklyn Nets and whether anyone can actually stop the offensive juggernaut. Even with James Harden sidelined, the Nets look like they are playing a different sport than everyone else. Kirk is particularly impressed with how the "others" like Blake Griffin and Joe Harris have stepped up to support KD and Kyrie.
Kirk GoldsberryThe Nets are a legit super team and are asserting dominance even without James Harden
I think the Nets are a legit super team. These guys are missing James Harden... and they are still crushing it with Kevin Durant, who has snapped back into pre-injury form. When Joe Harris, the best catch-and-shoot guy in the league, is your fourth option, man, you're a super team.
Kirk GoldsberryThe Brooklyn Nets are the best team in the NBA right now
They look like they're going to certainly come out of the East... they've coalesced at the exact right time and are playing, to my view, the best basketball in the league right now.
Despite the Nets' dominance, Kirk isn't ready to crown them the greatest of all time just yet. He still holds the 2017 Warriors in higher regard, specifically because they could actually guard people. Big Cat, however, thinks the Nets are so deep they could win a ring while playing a socialist style of basketball.
Big CatThe Nets could win the title if every starter had to score the exact same amount of points every game
I really think they could do it... they're all running plays for Joe Harris in the third quarter. I think they could probably do that. That's how good they are.
Kirk also weighs in on the Western Conference, warning everyone not to count out the Clippers just because they fall into 2-0 holes regularly. He also notes that the "big man" is officially back in style with the rise of the Jokic-Embiid-Gobert trio.
Kirk GoldsberryCenters are relevant in the NBA again thanks to Jokic, Embiid, and Gobert
Centers are relevant again thanks to I would say three guys really: Jokic, Joel Embiid who are both leading the top teams in their conferences... [and] Rudy Gobert, the top team in the West. ...Centers are back.
Kirk GoldsberryDon't bet against Kawhi Leonard in the playoffs
The last thing I'll say is don't bet against Kawhi Leonard in the playoffs. This dude came down from 2-0 in that first round series with one of the all time performances... he's really doing stuff that nobody else is doing.
Before letting him go, Big Cat and Kirk nerd out on their shared love for the Grateful Dead. It turns out Kirk is a massive Deadhead who spent his pandemic listening to old soundboards on the Relisten app, proving that even NBA analysts need a "safety blanket" of 30-minute drum solos.
Mr. Portnoy’s Brain Health
Our lawyer Mr. Portnoy makes his triumphant return to the show to discuss his recent sidewalk accident and the subsequent medical tests. He admits to struggling with the classic "remember these three words" test, leading Big Cat and PFT to run their own diagnostic on him. Between legal updates and car shopping rants, the number two recurring guest proves he’s still as sharp as ever when it comes to hating car salesmen.
Mr. PortnoyCar dealerships are all bullshit and haven't changed in years
The car dealerships have never changed. They advertise what they do, but it's all bullshit... I really believe if I went into one of these dealerships, not so much that I could sell cars, but I could show them what the fuck is wrong with what you're doing.
Mr. PortnoyBryson DeChambeau has a weak legal case for 'mental harm' regarding the 'Brooksy' chants
I think, you know, it's like any case that there is, I think it's a weak case that he has... How does he prove his damages? Does he go and see a doctor and say, doctor, because of these assholes in Pardon My Take, I can't play anymore?
We also got a rare glimpse into the childhood of Dave Portnoy. While Dave spends most of his time now posting highlights of himself as a youth athlete, his father provided some necessary context regarding his current physical state.
Mr. PortnoyDave Portnoy was a fast athlete in his youth but he has lost all of his speed
When David was younger, he had speed. And you know that expression in sports, speed kills. You can't teach somebody to be fast. ...David had it no longer, obviously.
After a successful "Uber, Chowder, Patriots" memory test, we finished things off with a Fyre Fest of the week where Hank admitted he's been trying to research the origins of a very specific bet involving the guys and their own anatomy.
Let’s just hope the Waterdogs don't make us regret the "On Dogs" hashtag by Sunday night.
