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Loss
HankHank

I will beat PFT Commenter in ping pong by at least nine points in every game of our series

I'm better than [PFT Commenter] when I'm wearing glass and he's not... I'm going to be going to beat you by nine points... nine wait in how many games? Each game. I will be home by 9:00 all games.

The results of these office ping pong matches are documented on 'Stool Streams'; Hank rarely wins this dominantly over PFT.

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Loss
Sep 23, 2020
#10692
Big CatBig Cat

Blake Bortles will take the starting job from Jeff Driskel in Denver

Let me be perfectly clear Blake Bortles is getting the starting job. I don't think that there's any question about that.

Bortles was signed but never played for Denver; Jeff Driskel and then Brett Rypien/Drew Lock handled the starts.
Win
Sep 23, 2020
#10693
Big CatBig Cat

The Saints are being held back by Drew Brees

Do you think Saints fans realize it that it's over or do you think they're still holding onto? Oh, The Saints are good enough, which they do have a great roster, but they're being held back by their quarterback. And this isn't just this year. This has been the last like year and a half. It's much more evident right now though.

Brees retired after this season, and the Saints' offensive limitations were a major storyline in their playoff loss to Tampa Bay.
Loss
Sep 23, 2020
#10694
PFT CommenterPFT Commenter

The Saints should start Jameis Winston right now

Unleash Jameis Winston. I got a Meraki I I disagree with you on the Michael Thomas thing... the time is now it is Jameis a clock in New Orleans.

Winston did not start until the following year after Brees retired.

More from Hank

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Void
HankHank

Tom Brady helping Mike Macdonald prepare for the Patriots would be a huge slap in the face to the New England region.

That would be egregious if that was true. I don't believe it is true. But if it were, that would be unforgivable. Not unforgivable. That would be a, a blemish, a big blemish. Big time. It'd be a slap in the face of the whole region.

Subjective opinion on how a hypothetical rumor would be perceived.
Void
HankHank

Jayson Tatum is playing cute by claiming he found out about the Jaylen Brown trade on social media.

I'm sure he knew that he was on the trading block and he didn't know specifically when he got traded and he found out just like everyone else... all Brad Stevens, Jaylen Brown, they talked about how, you know, he was gonna be on the trading block and they were gonna try and move him. So I'm sure Jayson Tatum was also aware of that. But in terms of, he's probably playing a little, a little cutesy there where like no one specifically told him, 'Hey, this is the trade.' He found out like everyone else. But I'm sure he was not surprised and fully aware what the plan was.

Subjective interpretation of Tatum's PR framing.
Open
HankHank

The Celtics have another major move coming following the Jaylen Brown trade

There's something going on here. I I said it to Max on the boat yesterday. I was like, Jalen Brown was getting traded. I could, I could just feel it. I could feel it coming... I feel like the Paul George thing is, there's the, like, they might be doing another trade. There's another move coming.

The trade just happened in the fictional 2026 timeline provided; further moves are pending.