PMT DB
PMT DB
Andre Dawson on the Cubs and the Most Disgusting Greg Maddux Story
The South Side of Chicago is currently a disaster zone, and the guys are here to pick through the wreckage of the Chris Sale jersey-shredding incident. While most media outlets are focused on the suspension, Big Cat is looking at the bigger picture of how Jerry Reinsdorf is running the White Sox into the ground while his star pitcher moonlights as an amateur tailor.
Big CatThe White Sox are an embarrassing organization run like a mom-and-pop shop
I think White Sox fans have a level of embarrassment because I think if your organization is having uniform issues and your star pitcher is cutting up uniforms because he doesn't want to wear them, that's embarrassing. It's called Jerry Reinsdorf runs organizations like a mom-and-pop shop, and incompetent people get pay raises and promotions, and no one ever gets fired.
PFT Commenter tried to help Sale rehab his image with some PR 101, suggesting that a simple name change could fix everything. If you're a psycho who destroys property because a collar is too itchy, you just need a nickname that sounds like you enjoy a good porch sit and some sweet tea.
Big CatChris Sale is a psycho, partly because his best friend is 13 years old
And also Chris Sale is kind of a psycho. Yeah. He's a little bit of a psycho. I think the biggest story out of all this is Chris Sale is kind of a psycho because it's not just the jerseys. It's that he also has a best friend that's 13 [Drake LaRoche].
PFT CommenterPlayers should be nicknamed 'Big Country' to improve their public image
Just give yourself the nickname Big Country because everybody loves Big Country no matter what sport you're in. Just be like, 'Hey, that's just Big Country, you know, having some fun before the game, y'all.' And people will be like, 'All right, that's good.'
With the MLB trade deadline looming, the conversation turned to the classic tropes of the Hot Stove League. Big Cat highlighted the inevitable appearance of the "mystery team" that agents use to drive up prices, even though that team never actually seems to exist when the dust settles.
PFT CommenterThe 'Mystery Team' in MLB trades is always just a fabrication by agents
The mystery team... could be anybody. It's a made-up team from the mouth of your agent just trying to work you up. The mystery team never gets their guy.
Mount Rushmore of Hangover Remedies
Summer hangovers are a different beast, especially after a weekend spent in the sun. Hank kicked things off with a suggestion that sounded more like a cry for help than a medical remedy, claiming that a leap of faith is the only way to reset the system.
HankJumping off a bridge into water is the best hangover cure
First one, jumping off a bridge. Like jumping off a bridge into water. You get an adrenaline rush, and then you get the water, and then once you're in the ocean, then you're unhungover.
PFT took a more culinary approach, advocating for a bowl of Vietnamese soup filled with "weird shit" to shock the body back into gear. Meanwhile, Big Cat went for the high-end approach, preferring to sweat out the toxins in a way that would make a movie studio head proud.
PFT CommenterA big bowl of Pho is the best hangover food
My fourth is going to be my favorite hangover food, and that's a big bowl of Pho, the Vietnamese soup. Really good for a hangover, yeah. If you get all the weird shit in there too, like the intestine stuff.
Big CatA 'Hollywood executive workout' (steam, sauna, hot tub) is the best way to cure a hangover
My last one is the good old-fashioned Hollywood slash executive workout. Little steam, sauna, hot tub, shower, nothing better. That's my favorite type of workout.
If you're looking for a more proactive approach, PFT offered a "pro's move" for the heavy hitters that involves staying hydrated while simultaneously getting more hammered. It’s the kind of logic that only makes sense on a Sunday morning after three hours of sleep.
PFT CommenterDrinking a mix of Pedialyte and vodka all night prevents hangovers
If you want to not have a hangover, here's what you do. You take Pedialyte and then you mix it with vodka or rum and then you just drink that all night so you don't get hungover to begin with. That's a pro's move.
The Hawk and the Mad Dog
MLB Hall of Famer Andre Dawson joined the show to discuss the 2016 Cubs and their chances of finally breaking the curse. The Hawk is a believer in the current roster, noting that Theo Epstein has finally assembled the right pieces to make a deep run in October.
Andre DawsonThe 2016 Cubs have all the key ingredients to win the World Series
I think that everything is in place right now for them to do very well. Without a doubt, they're going to be the team to beat. I think they have the key ingredients is how well and how they can handle that stage... hopefully this is the time.
Beyond the current state of the game, Dawson shared his amazement that Joe West is still somehow allowed to call balls and strikes in the year 2016. He also delivered an all-timer Greg Maddux story involving a jacuzzi and a complete lack of personal boundaries. It turns out the greatest pitcher of a generation was also the greatest locker room menace of a generation.
Andre DawsonI can't believe Joe West is still an active MLB umpire
I can't believe that [Joe West] is still an umpire. You know, I know at some point you retire, everybody retires. I'm still amazed that he can still see the ball... because your legs go and then your eyes go.
Olympic Updates and Dumb Rules
The Rio Olympics are shaping up to be a total dumpster fire, featuring everything from broken toilets to Russian athletes dodging bans. PFT broke down how the IOC managed to let the Russians off the hook despite a decade of systematic cheating.
PFT CommenterThe 2016 Olympics Russians got away with systematic doping
The Russians got away scot-free. So the IOC said, OK, we know your whole country had systematic doping for the last 20 years, so we're just going to ban the track and field team... they banned the track and field team, but anybody else from Russia is allowed to compete. So there you go.
Finally, the guys tackled Mike Greenberg’s latest list of dumb rules, specifically his desire to eliminate the five-year wait for the Hall of Fame. PFT argued that the wait is essential for seeing how much weight a player can put on in their face and neck area once they stop training, while Big Cat lamented the wasted brainpower spent on these debates.
PFT CommenterThe five-year Hall of Fame wait rule is good because it humbles players
I love the five-year rule because it gives players time to taste what it's like to be kind of irrelevant, put on a little bit of weight, and then they show up at their Hall of Fame induction ceremony, and they're humbled a little bit. They've gained a few pounds in the cheek, neck area, so they're more accessible to the fans.
Big CatSports writers would cure cancer if they didn't spend all their time debating Hall of Fame rules
If we took all the brainpower that the sportswriters of America used up thinking about Hall of Fames and rules and who should be in and who shouldn't, we could have cured cancer. We'd be living on Mars... deciding who's valuable enough to be in some stupid museum that we created.
We'll be back on Wednesday for a historic episode where the guys finally welcome a female guest to the show, so make sure to wear your Sunday best and use some mouthwash.
