Rear Admiral

The Washington Capitals are the Atlanta Falcons of the NHL

They're kind of like the Atlanta Falcons where their franchise has just never won it. The Falcons have been to two Super Bowls. I think the Capitals have been to one Stanley Cup. Basically, it's a franchise of failure. You know, they have this great regular season success. Everybody gets excited. And then when it comes to perform, they're a pop shot.

The Pittsburgh Penguins are the Seattle Seahawks of the NHL

I'd say probably [the] Seattle Seahawks where they're in it every year. ... Pittsburgh, Seattle, every year they're competitive. They've won it recently.

The Minnesota Wild and Vikings share a history of disappointing Scandinavian fans

The Vikings in the Wild, they both consistently disappoint a shitload of pale Scandinavian people. That's the history of the franchise.

Hidden Figures is my lock for Best Picture at the Oscars

Hidden figures... That's what my money's on. Very professionally produced.