Tiger Woods loses his 'man card' for needing his dad to teach him how to drink water between beers
Tiger Woods, I'm taking your man card, first of all... Asking your dad to teach you how to drink a beer because you puked at a fricking frat party once? Man card again. How many times can I take this man card?
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View episodeThe only people to ever make Minnesota cool are Kirby Puckett, Kevin Garnett, and Prince
It's basically the list of people who have made the state of Minnesota cool are like Kirby Puckett, Kevin Garnett, and Prince. That's it.
The pinnacle of celebrity status is when nobody makes jokes about your death on Twitter
That's when you know you've made it. Like, Prince died. Everyone is really sad... Prince is no jokes. There are no jokes. David Bowie was the same way. You don't do jokes when Prince dies. So that's really, like, the pinnacle of celebrity is people don't joke about your death.
Skip Bayless and Curt Schilling are 'bad guys' that sports fans actually need in their lives
You want Skip [Bayless] in your life. Like, you're complaining about him. He's the bad guy. He's like Tony Montana walking through that restaurant, right? You have to have somebody that you point at that's got the shittiest takes that you almost... that you love to hate.
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View profileCollege basketball has five absolutely dominant teams this year
We have five, you could even maybe go to six, just absolutely dominant teams. Michigan, UConn, Duke, Arizona, and Florida that are playing at such an insane level.
Florida can win the national championship because they can shoot threes now
Florida though, I've been talking about Florida for three weeks. They could shoot threes now. They absolutely kicked [Arkansas's]... They just throttle teams. All four of [Duke, Michigan, Arizona, Florida] would be the best team in the previous five years.
Miami of Ohio will make the tournament even if they lose in the conference tournament
I'm saying right now, winning every... If they go undefeated in the conference, that is so hard to do. I think if they go undefeated in the conference and then lose in the conference tournament, I think they will be in.