Using Shaquille O'Neal as a prop is an all-time move because he is the largest human being ever

Hamadou Diallo stole the show by using Shaq as a prop, which I cannot believe had not been used until Saturday night. Shaquille O'Neal as a prop is an all-time prop because he is the largest human being ever. That's a fact. Don't look it up.

Zion Williamson will be a Chicago Bull and his appearance in next year's dunk contest in the United Center will be an all-time moment

Zion going next year's dunk contest will be incredible because Zion Williamson, as a Chicago Bull, doing it in the United Center is going to be an all-time moment.

Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant are going to sign with the New York Knicks

Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant are in love. Full-blown love. They were like tickling each other. They were horsing around. A lot of horseplay. You just got to say, New York Knicks.

Pigeons are the smartest birds because they live off human trash

Pigeons might be the smartest bird. There is one... they've essentially just over the years been like, Hey, you know where we should live? Right where the people leave their trash. We don't have to hunt for anything. We don't have to go fucking diving for worms and fish... Some guy's going to eat a calzone and not finish it and we're gonna finish it. So pigeons might be the smartest bird.

Barry Bonds could still play in the MLB and take a million walks because of fear

I think of that with Barry Bonds for sure. Barry Bonds I like He could just, he, he could show up and just be awesome and, and take like a million walks. 'cause people would fear him.

American air conditioning is the equivalent of 'Hunter Biden crack' for European visitors

I would imagine air conditioning for Europeans hits like crack. Like the best crack of all. Oh, hunter Biden crack. Yeah. That's like when we go over to, to Spain and we see a nude beach. Like that's, that, that feeling that we get over there is their feeling when they're walking into one of our buildings over here.